Meanwhile though they will continue to stay on
the other side. And on second thought, possibly it is just as
well for the rest of us that they do.
In Europe I met two persons, born in America, who were openly
distressed over that shameful circumstance and could not forgive
their parents for being so thoughtless and inconsiderate. One
was living in England and the other was living in France; and one
was a man and the other was a woman; and both of them were avowedly
regretful that they had not been born elsewhere, which, I should
say, ought to make the sentiment unanimous. I also heard - at
second hand - of a young woman whose father served this country
in an ambassadorial capacity at one of the principal Continental
courts until the administration at Washington had a lucid interval,
and endeared itself to the hearts of practically all Americans
residing in that country by throwing a net over him and yanking
him back home; this young woman was so fearful lest some one might
think she cherished any affection for her native land that once
when a legation secretary manifested a desire to learn the score
of the deciding game of a World's Series between the Giants and
the Athletics, she spoke up in the presence of witnesses and
said:
"Ah, baseball! How can any sane person be excited over that American
game? Tell me - some one please - how is it played?"
Yet she was born and reared in a town which for a great many years
has held a membership in the National League. Let us pass on to
a more pleasant topic.
Let us pass on to those well-meaning but temporarily misguided
persons who think they are going to be satisfied with staying on
indefinitely in Europe. They profess themselves as being amply
pleased with the present arrangement. For, no matter how patriotic
one may be, one must concede - mustn't one? - that for true culture
one must look to Europe? After all, America is a bit crude, isn't
it, now? Of course some time, say in two or three years from now,
they will run across to the States again, but it will be for a
short visit only. After Europe one can never be entirely happy
elsewhere for any considerable period of time. And so on and so
forth.
But as you mention in an offhand way that Cedar Bluff has a modern
fire station now, or that Tulsanooga is going to have a Great White
Way of its own, there are eyes that light up with a wistful light.
And when you state casually, that Polkdale is planning a civic
center with the new county jail at one end and the Carnegie Library
at the other, lips begin to quiver under a weight of sentimental
emotion. And a month or so later when you take the ship which is
to bear you home, you find a large delegation of these native sons
of Polkdale and Tulsanooga on board, too.
At least we found them on the ship we took. We took her at Naples
- a big comfortable German ship with a fine German crew and a double
force of talented German cooks working overtime in the galley and
pantry - and so came back by the Mediterranean route, which is a
most satisfying route, especially if the sea be smooth and the
weather good, and the steerage passengers picturesque and
light-hearted. Moreover the coast of Northern Africa, lying along
the southern horizon as one nears Gibraltar, is one of the few
sights of a European trip that are not disappointing. For, in
fact, it proves to be the same color that it is in the geographies
- pale yellow. It is very unusual to find a country making an
earnest effort to correspond to its own map, and I think Northern
Africa deserves honorable mention in the dispatches on this account.
Chapter XXV
Be it Ever so Humble
Homeward-bound, a chastened spirit pervades the traveler. He is
not quite so much inclined to be gay and blithesome as he was
going. The holiday is over; the sightseeing is done; the letter
of credit is worn and emaciated. He has been broadened by travel
but his pocketbook has been flattened. He wouldn't take anything
for this trip, and as he feels at the present moment he wouldn't
take it again for anything.
It is a time for casting up and readjusting. Likewise it is a
good time for going over, in the calm, reflective light of second
judgment, the purchases he has made for personal use and gift-making
purposes. These things seemed highly attractive when he bought
them, and when displayed against a background of home surroundings
will, no doubt, be equally impressive; but just now they appear
as rather a sad collection of junk. His English box coat doesn't
fit him any better than any other box would.
His French waistcoats develop an unexpected garishness on being
displayed away from their native habitat and the writing outfit
which he picked up in Vienna turns out to be faulty and treacherous
and inkily tearful. How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to
have a fountain pen - that weeps! And why, when a fountain pen makes
up its mind to cry a spell, does it crawl clear across a steamer
trunk and bury its sobbing countenance in the bosom of a dress
shirt?
Likewise the first few days at sea provide opportunity for sorting
out the large and variegated crop of impressions a fellow has been
acquiring during all these crowded months. The way the homeward-bound
one feels now, he would swap any Old Master he ever saw for one
peep at a set of sanitary bath fixtures.
