It Is Only A Shilling, If You Have The Boy To Drive You; But,
Of Course, If You Drive Yourself, You Throw The Boy Out Of
Employment, And Have To Pay Extra.
It was in this fashion and on these elastic terms that I first met
you, Jane, and this chapter shall be sacred to you!
Jane the long-
eared, Jane the iron-jawed, Jane the stubborn, Jane donkeyer than
other donkeys, - in a word, MULIER! It may be that Jane has made her
bow to the public before this. If she has ever come into close
relation with man or woman possessed of the instinct of self-
expression, then this is certainly not her first appearance in
print, for no human being could know Jane and fail to mention her.
Pause, Jane, - this you will do gladly, I am sure, since pausing is
the one accomplishment to which you lend yourself with special
energy, - pause, Jane, while I sing a canticle to your character.
Jane is a tiny - person, I was about to say, for she has so strong an
individuality that I can scarcely think of her as less than human -
Jane is a tiny, solemn creature, looking all docility and decorum,
with long hair of a subdued tan colour, very much worn off in
patches, I fear, by the offending toe of man.
I am a member of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals, and I hope that I am as tender-hearted as most women;
nevertheless, I can understand how a man of weak principle and
violent temper, or a man possessed of a desire to get to a
particular spot not favoured by Jane, or by a wish to reach any spot
by a certain hour, - I can understand how such a man, carried away by
helpless wrath, might possibly ruffle Jane's sad-coloured hair with
the toe of his boot.
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