Now That I Have Concluded The Narrative Of So Many Furious And Bloody
Engagements, Through Which The Almighty Has Been Pleased To Protect Me, I
Must Confess, That The Sight Of So Many Of My Companions Sacrificed Alive
To The War-God Of The Mexicans, Inspired Me With Fear.
This may appear to
some as an indication of want of courage, yet in that time I considered
myself, and was looked upon by all as a valiant soldier, and was never
exceeded by any in bold achievements.
But when I saw the palpitating
hearts of my companions taken out alive, and their legs and arms cut off
to be served up in the barbarous feasts of our cannibal enemies, I feared
it might one day be my own lot; and in fact the enemy had me twice in
their hands, but by the blessing of God I escaped from their savage grasp.
Yet I ever afterwards remembered the dreadful scene which I had witnessed,
and on going to battle was much depressed and uneasy, fearing to be doomed
to that cruel death. Yet I always recommended myself to God and his
blessed Mother, and the moment I was engaged with the enemy all fear left
me. Let those valiant cavaliers who have been in desperate battles and
mortal dangers decide on the cause of my fears, for I declare I never knew
what fear was till I saw the savage immolation of my seventy-two
companions: In my own opinion it was from excessive courage, as I was
fully aware of the extent of danger which I was voluntarily about to
encounter.
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