And, Untroubled By
That Thought, The Mind Is Clear And Vigorous And Unfettered.
What, I
have asked myself, even when striving after faith, would faith in
another world have mattered to me if I had not been suddenly sentenced
to an early death, when the whole desire of my soul was life, nothing
but life - to live for ever!
Then my mother died. Her perfect health failed her suddenly, and her
decline was not long. But she suffered much, and on the last occasion
of my being with her at her bedside she told me that she was very
tired and had no fear of death, and would be glad to go but for the
thought of leaving me in such a precarious state of health and with a
mind distressed. Even then she put no questions to me, but only
expressed the hope that her prayers for me would be answered and that
at the last we should be together again.
I cannot say, as I might say in the case of any other relation or
friend, that I had lost her. A mother's love for the child of her body
differs essentially from all other affections, and burns with so clear
and steady a flame that it appears like the one unchangeable thing in
this earthly mutable life, so that when she is no longer present it is
still a light to our steps and a consolation.
It came to me as a great surprise a few years ago to have my secret
and most cherished feelings about my own mother expressed to me as I
had never heard them expressed before by a friend who, albeit still
young, has made himself a name in the world, one who had never known a
mother, she having died during his infancy.
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