Remembering The Nature Of His
Situation, It Will Be Agreed That The Letter He Wrote To His Mother,
Announcing His Resolve, Was A Model Of Good Taste And Fine Feeling:
"I have seen Eleonore, and I have not been able to resist the remorse
by which I am devoured.
My excessive attachment to you had made me
violate all that which is most sacred among men. I forgot the vows of
my heart, the cries of my conscience. I was in Paris for twenty days,
and, faithful to my promise to you, I did not go to see her. But I
received a letter from her. She made no reproach against me, but the
most profound sentiment of sadness was expressed in it. At the instant
of reading it the veil fell from my eyes. My situation filled me with
horror. I am no better in my own eyes than a perjurer, unworthy of
Mademoiselle de Vesian, to whom I brought a heart devoured by remorse
and by a passion that nothing could extinguish. I was equally unworthy
of Mademoiselle Broudou, and wished to leave her. My only excuse,
my dear mother, is the extreme desire I have always had to
please you. It is for you alone, and for my father, that I wished to
marry. Desiring to live with you for the remainder of my life, I
consented to your finding me a wife with whom I could abide. The choice
of Mademoiselle de Vesian had overwhelmed me, because her mother is a
woman for whom I have a true attachment; and Heaven is my witness
to-day that I should have preferred her daughter to the most brilliant
match in the universe.
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