Every time I
thought of the Snark I knew she was worth it.
For know, gentle reader, the staunchness of the Snark. She is
forty-five feet long on the waterline. Her garboard strake is three
inches thick; her planking two and one-half inches thick; her deck-
planking two inches thick and in all her planking there are no
butts. I know, for I ordered that planking especially from Puget
Sound. Then the Snark has four water-tight compartments, which is
to say that her length is broken by three water-tight bulkheads.
Thus, no matter how large a leak the Snark may spring, Only one
compartment can fill with water. The other three compartments will
keep her afloat, anyway, and, besides, will enable us to mend the
leak. There is another virtue in these bulkheads. The last
compartment of all, in the very stern, contains six tanks that carry
over one thousand gallons of gasolene. Now gasolene is a very
dangerous article to carry in bulk on a small craft far out on the
wide ocean. But when the six tanks that do not leak are themselves
contained in a compartment hermetically sealed off from the rest of
the boat, the danger will be seen to be very small indeed.
The Snark is a sail-boat. She was built primarily to sail. But
incidentally, as an auxiliary, a seventy-horse-power engine was
installed. This is a good, strong engine. I ought to know. I paid
for it to come out all the way from New York City. Then, on deck,
above the engine, is a windlass. It is a magnificent affair. It
weighs several hundred pounds and takes up no end of deck-room. You
see, it is ridiculous to hoist up anchor by hand-power when there is
a seventy-horse-power engine on board. So we installed the
windlass, transmitting power to it from the engine by means of a
gear and castings specially made in a San Francisco foundry.
The Snark was made for comfort, and no expense was spared in this
regard. There is the bath-room, for instance, small and compact, it
is true, but containing all the conveniences of any bath-room upon
land. The bath-room is a beautiful dream of schemes and devices,
pumps, and levers, and sea-valves. Why, in the course of its
building, I used to lie awake nights thinking about that bath-room.
And next to the bathroom come the life-boat and the launch. They
are carried on deck, and they take up what little space might have
been left us for exercise. But then, they beat life insurance; and
the prudent man, even if he has built as staunch and strong a craft
as the Snark, will see to it that he has a good life-boat as well.
And ours is a good one. It is a dandy. It was stipulated to cost
one hundred and fifty dollars, and when I came to pay the bill, it
turned out to be three hundred and ninety-five dollars. That shows
how good a life-boat it is.
I could go on at great length relating the various virtues and
excellences of the Snark, but I refrain. I have bragged enough as
it is, and I have bragged to a purpose, as will be seen before my
tale is ended. And please remember its title, "The Inconceivable
and Monstrous." It was planned that the Snark should sail on
October 1, 1906. That she did not so sail was inconceivable and
monstrous. There was no valid reason for not sailing except that
she was not ready to sail, and there was no conceivable reason why
she was not ready. She was promised on November first, on November
fifteenth, on December first; and yet she was never ready. On
December first Charmian and I left the sweet, clean Sonoma country
and came down to live in the stifling city - but not for long, oh,
no, only for two weeks, for we would sail on December fifteenth.
And I guess we ought to know, for Roscoe said so, and it was on his
advice that we came to the city to stay two weeks. Alas, the two
weeks went by, four weeks went by, six weeks went by, eight weeks
went by, and we were farther away from sailing than ever. Explain
it? Who? - me? I can't. It is the one thing in all my life that I
have backed down on. There is no explaining it; if there were, I'd
do it. I, who am an artisan of speech, confess my inability to
explain why the Snark was not ready. As I have said, and as I must
repeat, it was inconceivable and monstrous.
The eight weeks became sixteen weeks, and then, one day, Roscoe
cheered us up by saying: "If we don't sail before April first, you
can use my head for a football."
Two weeks later he said, "I'm getting my head in training for that
match."
"Never mind," Charmian and I said to each other; "think of the
wonderful boat it is going to be when it is completed."
Whereat we would rehearse for our mutual encouragement the manifold
virtues and excellences of the Snark. Also, I would borrow more
money, and I would get down closer to my desk and write harder, and
I refused heroically to take a Sunday off and go out into the hills
with my friends. I was building a boat, and by the eternal it was
going to be a boat, and a boat spelled out all in capitals - B - O - A-
-T; and no matter what it cost I didn't care. So long as it was a
BOAT.
And, oh, there is one other excellence of the Snark, upon which I
must brag, namely, her bow. No sea could ever come over it.
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