While He Spoke These Words His Lips Were So
Closely Cemented To Her's, That Had There Been No Other Hindrance,
It
would have been impossible for her to have reply'd. - But terrified
beyond measure at the wild disorder of his
Looks, the expressions he
made use of, and the actions that accompanied them, she wanted even the
power of repulsing, till seeing her almost breathless, he withdrew his
arms which he had thrown round her neck, and contenting himself with
holding one of her hands, - Tell me, pursued he, when may I hope a
recompence for all I have suffered? - I must, I will have an end of all
these fears of offending; - this cruel constaint; - this distance between
us. - Few men, Louisa, in the circumstances we both are, would, like me,
so long attend a happiness in my power to seize. - Trifle not therefore
with a passion, the consequences of which there is no answering for.
O, sir! said she, with a trembling voice, you cannot, from the most
generous, virtuous and honourable man living, degenerate into a brutal
ravisher. - You will not destroy the innocence you have cherished, and
which is all that is valuable in the poor Louisa. She ended these words
with a flood of tears, which, together with the sight of the confusion
he had occasioned, made him a little recollect himself; and to prevent
the wildness of his desires from getting the better of those rules he
had resolved to observe, he let go her hand, and having told her that he
would press her no farther that night, but expected a more satisfactory
answer the next day, went out of her chamber, and left her to enjoy what
repose she could after the alarm he had given her.
CHAP. III.
Dorilaus continues his importunities, with some unexpected consequences
that attended them.
Poor Louisa concealed the distraction she was in as much as possible she
could from the maid, who immediately came into the room on Dorilaus
having quitted it, and suffered her to undress, and put her to bed as
usual; but was no sooner there, than instead of composing herself to
sleep, she began to reflect on what he had said: - the words, that there
was no answering for the consequences of a passion such as his, gave
her the most terrible idea. - His actions too, this night, seem'd to
threaten her with all a virgin had to fear. - She knew him a man of
honour, but thought she had too much reason to suspect that if she
persisted in refusing to be his wife, that passion which had influenced
him, contrary to his character, to make her such an offer, would also be
too potent for any consideration of her to restrain him from proceeding
to extremities. Having debated every thing within her own mind, she
thought she ought not to continue a day longer in the power of a man who
loved her to this extravagant degree: where to go indeed she knew
not; - she had no friend, or even acquaintance, to whom she might repair,
or hope to be received. - How should she support herself then? - which way
procure even the most common necessaries of life? - This was a dreadful
prospect! yet appeared less so than that she would avoid: even starving
lost its horrors when compared either to being compelled to wed a man
whom she could not affect as a husband, or, by refusing him, run the
risque of forfeiting her honour. - She therefore hesitated but a small
time, and having once formed the resolution of quitting Dorilaus's
house, immediately set about putting it into execution.
In the first place, not to be ungrateful to him as a benefactor, she sat
down and wrote the following letter to be left for him on her table:
SIR,
'Heaven having rendered me of a disposition
utterly incapable of receiving the honour
you would do me, it would be an ill return for
all the unmerited favours you have heaped upon
me to prolong the disquiets I have unhappily occasioned
by continuing in your presence; - besides,
sir, the education you have vouchsafed to
give me has been such, as informs me a person
of my sex makes but an odd figure while in the
power of one of yours possessed of the sentiments
you are.'
'These, sir, are the reasons which oblige me to
withdraw; and I hope, when well considered,
will enough apologize for my doing so, to keep
you from hating what you have but too much
loved; for I beseech you to believe a great truth,
which is, that the most terrible idea I carry with
me is, lest while I fly the one, I should incur the
other; and that, wheresoever my good or ill stars
shall conduct me, my first and last prayers shall
be for the peace, health, and prosperity of my
most generous and ever honoured patron and benefactor.'
'Judge favourably, therefore, of this action,
and rather pity than condemn the unfortunate
LOUISA.'
Having sealed and directed this, she dressed herself in one of the least
remarkable and plainest suits she had, taking nothing with her but a
little linnen which she crammed into her pockets, and so sat waiting
till she heard some of the family were stirring; then went down stairs,
and being; seen by one of the footmen, she told him she was not very
well, and was going to take a little walk in hopes the fresh air might
relieve her; he offered to wait upon her, but she refused, saying, she
chose to go alone.
Thus had she made her escape; but, when in the street, was seized with
very alarming apprehensions. - She was little acquainted with the town,
and knew not which way to turn in search of a retreat. - Resolving,
however, to go far enough, at least, from the house she had quitted, she
wandered on, almost tired to death, without stopping any where, till
chance directed her to a retired nook, where she saw a bill for lodgings
on one of the doors.
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