But How Confounded Was He, When The
Next Day Accosting Her With All The Tender Transports Of A Lover, She
Turned From Him, And Burst Into A Flood Of Tears.
How is this, Louisa,
said he; do the offers I make you merit to be treated with disdain?
Has
my submitting to be your lover forfeited that respect you were wont to
pay me as a guardian? O do not, sir, accuse me of such black
ingratitude, replied she; heaven knows with what sincere and humble duty
I regard you, and that I would sooner die than wilfully offend you; but
if I am so unfortunate as not to be able to obey you in this last
command, impute it, I beseech you, to my ill fate, and rather pity than
condemn me.
You cannot love me then? cried he, somewhat feircely. No otherwise than
I have ever done, answered she. My heart is filled with duty, reverence
and gratitude, of which your goodness is the only source: as for any
other sort of love I know not what it is; were it a voluntary emotion,
believe me, sir, I gladly would give it entrance into my soul, but I
well see it is of a far different nature.
Yet is your person at your own disposal, resumed he; and when possessed
of that, the flame which burns so fiercely in my breast, in time may
kindle one in yours. In speaking these words he took her in his arms,
and kissed her with a vehemence which the prodigious respect she bore to
him, as the patron and benefactor of herself and brother, could alone
have made her suffer. - Her eyes however sparkled with indignation, tho'
her tongue was silent, and at last bursting from his embrace, this, sir,
cried she, is not the way to make me think as you would have me. As in
this action he had no way transgressed the rules of decency, he could
ill brook the finding her so much alarmed at it; and would have
testified his resentment, had not the excess of his love, which is ever
accompanied with an adequate share of respect, obliged him to stifle it.
Well, Louisa, said he, looking earnestly upon her, ungenerously do you
requite what I have done for you; but I, perhaps, may bring myself to
other sentiments. - None, interrupted she, emboldened by the too great
freedom she thought he had taken with her, can be so dreadful to me as
those you now seem to entertain.
The look he gave her on hearing her speak in this manner, made her
immediately repent having been so open; and in the same breath, because;
pursued she, I look on it as the worst evil could befal me that I am
compelled to oppose them.
Come, said he, again softened by these last words, you will not always
oppose them: the fervor and constancy of my passion, joined with a
little yielding on your side, will by degrees excite a tender impulse in
you; and whatever is disagreeable at present, either in my person or
behaviour, will wear of. - Permit me at least to flatter myself so far,
and refuse me not those innocent endearments I have been accustomed to
treat you with; before you knew me as a lover, or I indeed suspected I
should be so.
He then kissed her again; but tho' he constrained himself within more
bounds than before, those caresses which she received with pleasure,
when thinking them only demonstrations of friendship, were now irksome,
as knowing them the effects of love: she suffered him however to embrace
her several times, and hold one of her hands close pressed between his,
while he endeavoured to influence her mind by all the tender arguments
his passion, backed with an infinity of wit, inspired; to all which she
made as few replies as possible; but he contented himself, as love is
always flattering, with imagining she was less refractory to his suit
than when he first declared it.
Every day, and almost the whole day, did he entertain her on no other
subject, but gained not the least ground on her inclinations; and all he
could get from her was the wish of being less insensible, without the
least indication of ever being so.
In this manner did they live together near three weeks; and how much
longer he would have been able to restrain his impatience, or she to
conceal the extreme regret in being compelled to listen to him, is
uncertain: a law-suit required his presence to town, and Louisa was in
hopes of being relieved for some time; but his passion was arrived at
such a height that he could not support the least absence from her, and
therefore brought her to London with him, so that her persecution ceased
not, he never stirring from her but when the most urgent business
obliged him to it.
One night happening to have stayed pretty late abroad, and in company,
which occasioned his drinking more plentifully than he was accustomed,
Louisa was retired to her chamber in order to go to bed: his love, ever
uppermost in his head, would not permit him to think of sleeping without
seeing her; accordingly he ran up into her room, and finding she was not
undressed, told her he had something to acquaint her with, on which the
maid that waited on her withdrew. Tho' the passion he was inspired with
could not be heightened, his behaviour now proved it might at least be
rendered more ungovernable by being enflamed with wine: He no sooner was
alone with her, than he threw himself upon her as she was sitting in a
chair, crying, O when my angel, my dear adored Louisa, will you consent
to make me blest. - By heaven, I can no longer wait the tedious
formalities your modesty demands. - I cannot think you hate me, and must
this night ensure you mine.
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