To pretend herself indisposed and keep her bed, that she might
be the less observed, or the change in her should seem rather the
effects of ill health than any secret discontent.
It was no sooner mentioned in the convent that she was out of order,
than the abbess herself, as well as the whole sisterhood, came to her
chamber, and shewed the greatest concern: the tender care they took of
her would have made her think herself infinitely obliged to them, and
perhaps gone a great way in engaging her continuance among them, had she
not been apprized of their falshood in a point so little to be forgiven.
So great an enemy was she to all deceit herself, that it was difficult
for her to return the civilities they treated her with, as they might
seem to deserve; but whatever omissions she was guilty of in this
particular, were imputed to her disposition; and the whole convent
continued to be extremely assiduous to recover her.
During the time of her feigned illness, her thoughts were always
employed on the means of getting away. Whenever Leonora and she were
together, a hundred contrivances were formed, which seemed equally alike
impracticable; but at length they hit upon one which had a promising
aspect and Louisa, after some scruples, resolved to make trial of.
It was this:
As hypocrisy was made use of to detain her, hypocrisy was the only
method by which she could hope to get her liberty: - pretending,
therefore, to be all at once restored to her former health, she sent to
entreat the abbess, and some other of the most zealous of the sisterhood
to come into her chamber, where, as soon as they entered, they found her
on her knees before the picture of the virgin, and seeming in an extacy
of devotion: Yes, holy virgin, cried she, as if too much taken up to see
who entered, I will obey your commands; - I will devote myself entirely
to thee; - I will follow where thou callest me: thou, who hast restored
me, shalt have the first fruits of my strength: - and oh that Lorretto
were at a greater distance, - to the utmost extent of land and sea would
I go to seek thee! - In uttering these ejaculations she prostrated
herself on the floor; - then rising again, as transported in a manner out
of herself, - I come, - I come, cried she; - still do I hear thy
heavenly voice!
In this fit of enthusiasm did she remain for above half an hour, and so
well acted her part, that the abbess, who would not offer to interrupt
her, believed it real, and was in little less agitation of spirit than
Louisa pretended to be.
At length seeming; to come to herself, she turned towards the company,
as tho' she but just then discovered they were in the room; Oh, madam,
said she to the abbess, how highly favoured have I been this blessed
night! - The virgin has herself appeared to me, whether in a vision, or
to my waking eyes, I cannot well determine; but sure I have been in such
extacies, have felt such divine raptures, as no words can express!
Oh my dear daughter! cried the abbess, how my soul kindles to behold
this change in thee! - but tell me what said the holy virgin!
She bad me wait on her at Lorretto, answered she, and gave me hopes of
doing something wonderful in my favour: - I will therefore, with your
permission, undertake a pilgrimage and at her shrine expiate the
offences of my past life in tears of true contrition, and then return a
pure and fearless partaker of the happiness you enjoy in an
uninterrupted course of devotion: - oh! exclaimed she, exalting her
voice, how do I detest and despise the vanities and follies of the
world! - how hate myself for having been too much attached to them, and
so long been cold and negligent of my only happiness!
The abbess, and, after her, all the nuns that were present, embraced
Louisa, - praised to the skies this miraculous conversion, as they termed
it, and spared nothing to confirm the pious resolution she had taken.
In fine, they consented to her pilgrimage with a satisfaction equal to
what she felt in undertaking it, - they not in the least doubting but she
would return to them as soon as she had fulfilled her devotions, and
flattering themselves that the report of this miracle would do the
greatest honour to their convent that it could possibly receive; and
she, delighted with the thoughts of being at liberty to enquire after
her dear du Plessis, and being freed from a dissimulation so irksome to
her nature.
Her pilgrim's habit, and a great crucifix to carry between her hands,
with another at her girdle, and all the formalities of that garb being
prepared, she set forward with the prayers and benedictions of the whole
sisterhood, who told her, that they should be impatient till they saw
her again, and expected great things from her at her return, which, in
reality, they all did, except Leonora, who laughed heartily at the
deception she had put upon them, and whispered in her ear as she gave
her the last embrace, that she wished her a happy meeting with that
saint she went in search of.
To prevent all suspicion of her intention she left her cloaths, and
every thing she had brought into the convent, under the care of the
abbess, saying, that, at her return, she would have them disposed of,
and the money given to the poor: but, unknown to any one except Leonora,
she quilted some pieces of gold and valuable trinkets into her
undergarment, as not doubting but she should have occasion for much more
than, in effect, she was mistress of.
