- To Increase The Number Of Devotees They Scruple
Nothing, And Vainly Imagine The Means Is Sanctified By The End.
Little is it in the power of words to express the astonishment Louisa
was in to hear her speak
In this manner; but as she had no room to doubt
her sincerity, only asked by what means she had attained the knowledge
of what the persons concerned, no doubt, intended to keep as much a
secret as possible; on which the other satisfied her curiosity in
these terms:
To confess the truth to you, said she, I stole this afternoon into the
chapel, in order to read a little book brought me the other day by one
of my friends; as it treated on a subject not allowable in a convent, I
thought that the most proper place to entertain myself with it; and was
sitting down in one of the confessionals, when hearing the little door
open from the gallery, I saw the abbess and sister Clara, who, you know,
is her favourite and confidant, come in together, and as soon as they
were entered, shut the door after them. I cannot say I had any curiosity
to hear their discourse; but fearing to be suspected by them in my
amusement, and not knowing what excuse to make for being there, if I
were seen, I slid down, and lay close at the bottom of the confessional.
They happened to place themselves very near me; and the abbess taking a
letter out of her pocket, bad Clara read it, and tell her the substance
of it as well as she could. I found it was in French, by some words
which she was obliged to repeat over and over, before, not perfectly
understanding the language, she could be able to find a proper
interpretation of. The abbess, who has a little smattering of it
herself, sometimes helped her out, and between them both I soon found it
came from monsieur du Plessis, and contained the most tender and
compassionate complaint of your unkindness in not answering his
letter; - that the symptoms he had of approaching death were not half so
severe to him as your refusing him a consolation he stood for much in
need of; - that if you found him unworthy of your love, he was certainly
so of your compassion; and concluded with the most earnest entreaty, you
would suffer him to continue no longer in a suspence more cruel than a
thousand deaths could be.
Oh heaven! cried Louisa, bursting into tears, how ungrateful must he
think me, and how can I return, as it deserves, so unexampled a
constancy, after such seeming proofs of my infidelity! - . Cruel, cruel,
treacherous abbess! pursued she; Is this the fruits of all your boasted
sanctity! - This the return to the confidence the generous du Plessis
reposed in you! - This your love and friendship to me! - Does heaven, to
increase the number of its votaries, require you to be false,
perfidious, and injurious to the world!
She was proceeding in giving vent to the anguish of her soul in
exclamations such as these; but Leonora begged she would moderate her
grief, and for her sake, as much as possible, conceal the reasons she
had for resentment. Louisa again promised she would do her utmost to
keep them from thinking she even suspected they had played her
false; - then cried, But tell me, my dear Leonora, were they not a little
moved at the tender melancholy which, I perceive, ran thro' this
epistle? Alas! my dear, replied the other, they have long since forgot
those soft emotions which make us simpathize in the woes of
love: - inflexible by the rigid rules of this place, and more by their
own age, they rather looked with horror than pity on a tender
inclination: - they had a long conversation together, the result of which
was to spare nothing that might either persuade, or if that failed,
compel you to take the order.
It is not in their power to do the latter, interrupted Louisa; and this
discovery of their baseness, more than ever, confirms me in the
resolution never to consent.
You know not what is in their power, said Leonora; they may make
pretences for confining you here, which, as they are under no
jurisdiction but the church, the church will allow justifiable: - indeed,
Louisa, continued she, I should be loth to see you have recourse to
force to get out of their hands which would only occasion you ill
treatment: - to whom, alas, can you complain! - you are a stranger in this
country, without any one friend to espouse your cause: - were even Du
Plessis here in person, I know not, as they have taken it into their
heads to keep you here, if all he could urge, either to the pope or
confessory, would have any weight to oblige them to relinquish you. A
convent is the securest prison in the world; and whenever any one comes
into it, who by any particular endowment promises to be an ornament to
the order, cannot, without great difficulty, disentangle themselves from
the snares laid for them. - It is for this reason I have feared for you
ever since your entrance; for tho' I should rejoice in so agreeable a
companion, I know too well the miseries of an enforced attachment to
wish you to be partaker of it.
Louisa found too much reason in what she said, to doubt the misery of
her condition; - she knew the great power of the church in all these
countries where the roman-catholic religion is established, more
especially in those places under the papal jurisdiction, and saw no way
to avoid what was now more terrible to her than ever. Those reflections
threw her into such agonies, that Leonora had much ado to keep her from
falling into fits: - she conjured her again and again, never to betray
what she had entrusted her with; assuring her, that if it were so much
as guessed at, she should be exposed to the worst treatment, and
punished as an enemy to the order of which she was a member.
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