He Was Almost Distracted When He Had Been There Three Or Four Days
Without Being Able To Find Any Expedient Which He Could Think Likely To
Succeed:
- He knew not what to resolve on; - time pressed him to pursue
his journey; - every day, every hour that he lost from prosecuting the
glorious hopes he had in view, struck ten thousand daggers to his
soul:
- But then to go without informing the dear object of his wishes
how great a part she had in inspiring his ambition, - without assuring
her of his eternal constancy and faith, and receiving some soft
condescensions from her to enable him to support so long an absence as
he in all probability must endure. - All this, I say, was a shock to
thought, which, had he not been relieved from, would have perhaps abated
great part of that spirit which it was necessary for him to preserve, in
order to agree with the recommendatory letters he carried with him.
He was just going out of the chapel full of unquiet meditations, when
passing by the confessional, a magdalen curiously painted which hung
near it attracted his eyes: as he was admiring the piece, something fell
from above and hit against his arm; he stooped to take it up, and found
it a small ivory tablet: he looked up, but could see the shadow of
nothing behind the grate: imagining it only an accident, and not knowing
to whom to return it, he put it in his pocket, but was no sooner out of
the chapel than curiosity excited him to see what it contained, which he
had no sooner done than in the first leaf he found these words:
"As I imagine you did not come this long journey
without a desire to see me, it would be too ungrateful
not to assist your endeavours: - come a little before
vespers, and enquire of the portress for mademoiselle
du Pont; - say you are her brother, and leave the rest to me."
There was no name subscribed; but the dear characters, tho' evidently
wrote in haste and with a pencil, which made some alteration in the
fineness of the strokes, convinced him it came from no other than
Charlotta; and never were any hours so tedious to him as those which
past between the receiving this appointment, and that of the
fulfilling it.
At length the wish'd-for time arrived, and he repaired to the gate,
where telling the portress, as he was ordered, that he was the brother
of mademoiselle du Pont, he was immediately brought into the parlour,
where he had not waited long before a young lady appeared behind the
grate: as he found it was not her he expected, he was a little at a
loss, and not without some apprehensions that his imagination had
deceived him: I know not, madame, said he, if chance has not made me
mistaken for some happier person: - I thought to find a sister here. - No,
replied she laughing, Horatio shall find me a sister in my good
offices; - mademoiselle Charlotta will be here immediately; - she has
counterfeited an indisposition to avoid going to vespers, and obtained
permission for me to stay with her; - so that every thing is right, and
as soon as the choir is gone into chapel you will see her. It would be
needless to repeat the transports Horatio uttered on this occasion, so I
shall only say they were such as convinced mademoiselle du Pont, that
her fair friend had not made this condescension to a man ungrateful for,
or insensible of the obligation. He was indeed so lost in them, that he
scarce remembered to pay those compliments to the lady for her generous
assistance which it merited from him; but she easily forgave any
unpoliteness he might be guilty of on that score; and he so well attoned
for it after he had given vent to the sudden emotions of his joy, that
she looked, upon him as the most accomplished, as well as the most
faithful of his sex. They had entered into some discourse of the rules
of the monastry, and how impossible it would have been for him to have
gained an interview with mademoiselle Charlotta, but by the means she
had contrived; - she told him that young lady had seen him for several
days, and not doubling but it was for her sake he came, had resolved to
run any risque rather than he should depart without obtaining so small a
consolation as the sight of her was capable of affording. Horatio, by
the most passionate expressions, testified how dearly he prized what she
had seemed to think of so little value, when the expected charmer of his
soul drew near the grate. - All that can be conceived of tender and
endearing past between them; but when he related to her the occasion of
his coming, and that change of life he now was entering upon, she
listened to him with a mixture of pleasure and anxiety: - she rejoiced
with him on the great prospects he had in view; but the terror of the
dangers he was plunging in was all her own. She was far, however, from
discouraging him in his designs, and concealed not her admiration of the
greatness of his spirit, and that love of glory which seemed to render
him capable of undertaking any thing.
But when she heard in what manner her father had treated him, she was
all astonishment: as she knew his temper perfectly well, she was certain
he would not have acted in the manner he did without being influenced to
it by a very strong liking for Horatio; for tho' gratitude for the good
office he had received at his hands might have engaged him to make some
requital, yet there were several expressions which Horatio, who
remembered all he said, with the utmost exactness repeated to her, that
convinced her he would not have made use of, if he had not meant the
person better than he at present would have him think he did; and that
there was in reality nothing restrained him from making them as happy as
their mutual affection could desire, but the pride of blood and the talk
of the world, which the disparity of their present circumstances would
occasion.
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