She Kept Her Sentiments On This Occasion Entirely To Herself However,
And Made No Shew Of Any Repugnance To Do
As they would have her; but
whenever they became strenuous in their pressures, told them, she
doubted not but such
A life as they described must be very angelic, but
having already disposed of her vows, it was not in her power to withdraw
them, nor would heaven accept so violated an offering. This, they told
her, was only a suggestion of some evil spirit, and that all engagements
to an earthly object, both might and ought to be dispensed with for a
divine vocation. The arguments they made use of for this purpose were
artful enough to have imposed on some minds, but Louisa had too much
penetration not to see thro' them; and being unwilling to disoblige them
by shewing that she did so, made use, in her turn, of evasions which the
circumstances of the case rendered very excusable. But fully persuaded
in their minds that it was solely her engagements with du Plessis that
rendered her so refractory to their desires, they resolved to break it
off, if possible, and to that end now intercepted his letters; two of
which giving an account that he was very much wounded and unable to
travel, they renewed their pressures, in order to prevail on her to take
the habit before he should be in a condition to come to Bolognia.
These sollicitations, however, had no other effect than to embitter the
satisfaction she would otherwise have enjoyed during her stay among
them; - the time of which began now to seem tedious, and she impatiently
longed for the end of the campaign, which she expected would return her
dear du Plessis to her, and she should be removed from a place where
dissimulation, a vice she detested, was in a manner necessary. She had
received several letters from him before the abbess took it in her head
to stop them, each more endearing than the former; and last had
flattered her with the hope of seeing him in a very short time.
Days, weeks, and months passed over, after an assurance so pleasing to
her wishes, without any confirmation of the repeated vows he had made;
and receiving from him no account of the reasons that delayed him, she
began to reproach herself for having placed too much confidence in
him; - the more time elapsed, the more cause she had to doubt his
sincerity, and believe her misfortune real: - in fine, it was near half a
year that she languished under a vain expectation of seeing, or at least
hearing from him. - Sometimes she imagined a new object had deprived her
of his heart; but when she called to mind the many proofs he had given
her of the most unparallell'd generosity that ever was she could not
think that if he even ceased to love her, he could be capable of leaving
her in so cruel a suspence:
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