- But
Glory, Tyrannic Glory, Would Not Suffer Me To
Obey The Soft Impulse, Nor Re-Enjoy That Blessing
Till Conscious I Deserved It Better!
- My friends
over-rate my services; and tho' that partial indulgence
is the ultimate of my ambition, I would
dare not abuse what they are so good to offer."
"To feast my long, long famished sight with
gazing once more on your charms, I would
forgo every thing but the hope of rendering myself
one day more worthy of it! - Too dear I
prize the good wishes you vouchsafe to have for
me, not to attempt every thing in my power to
prevent the disappointment of them: the little
I have yet done, alas! serves but to prove how
much the man, who has in view rendering himself
acceptable to the divine Charlotta, dares
to do, when dangers worthy of his courage
present themselves. - A small time may, perhaps,
afford me an opportunity: - yet did you
know how dear this self-denial costs me, you
would confess it the greatest proof of affection
ever man gave: - permit me therefore to gratify
an ambition which has no other aim than a
justification of the favours I receive: - continue
to look with a favourable eye on my endeavours,
and they cannot then fail of such success,
as may give me a claim to the glorious.
title of my most adored and loved Charlotta's.
Everlasting Slave,
HORATIO."
To her father he wrote in the following manner:
To the baron DE PALFOY,
My Lord;
"The favours your goodness confers upon
me are such as can be equalled by but one
thing in the world, and that is my just and
grateful sense of them. - Charming would be
the toils of war, did all employed in them meet
a recompence like mine! - Is there a man, so
mean, so poor in spirit, that praises such as I receive
might not animate to actions worthy of
them! - What acknowledgments can I make
the count suitable to the immense obligations I
owe him, for inspiring your lordship with sentiments,
which, tho' the supreme wish of my
aspiring soul, I never durst allow myself to
hope; and which afford a prospect of future
accumulated blessings, such as I could scarce
flatter myself with being real, were not the transporting
idea in some measure confirmed to me,
by your having given a sanction to a correspondence
I so lately despaired of ever obtaining! - Blessed
change! - Extatic condescensions! - Fortune
has done all she can for me, and anticipated
all the good that, after a long train of
services and approved fidelity, I scarce should
have presumed to hope! - Oh my lord! I have
no words to thank you as I ought! It is deeds
alone, and rendering myself worthy of your
indulgence, that must preserve your good opinion,
and keep you from repenting having overwhelmed
me with this profusion of happiness! - Yet
how joyfully could I now pursue the
rout to Paris, and content myself with owing
every thing merely to your goodness, were I
not with-held by all the considerations that
ought to have weight with a man of honour!
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