- Instead of detesting my ingratitude, he only
fears I should receive the punishment of it. - What man but Dorilaus
would behave thus to the creature of his benevolence? - If I have any
merits, do not I owe them to his goodness? - My brother and myself, two
poor exposed and wretched foundlings, what but his bounty rear'd us to
what we are? - Hard fate! - unlucky passion that drives me from his
presence and protection.
Yet, would she say again, if he has indeed subdued that passion; - if he
resolves to think of me as before he entertained it; if I were certain
he would receive me as a child, how great would be, the blessing!
This confederation had so much effect on her, that she was half
determined to comply with the advertisement; but when she remembered to
have read that where love is sincere and violent, it requires a length
of time to be erased, and that those possessed of it are incapable of
knowing even their own strength, and, as he had said to her himself,
that there was no answering for the consequences, she grew instantly
of another mind, and thought that putting herself again into the power
of such a passion was running too great a hazard.
The continual agitations of her mind, joined to want of air, a quite
different way of life, and perhaps fitting more closely to work than she
had been accustomed, threw her at length into a kind of languishing
indisposition, which, tho' it did not confine her to her bed, occasioned
a loss of appetite, and frequent faintings, which were very alarming to
her. Mrs. C - - ge was extremely concerned to observe this change in her,
and would have the opinion of her own physician, who said that she had
symptoms of an approaching consumption, and that it was absolutely
necessary she should be removed into the country for some time.
Louisa readily complied with this advice, not only because she imagined
it might be of service for the recovery of her health, but also as it
furnished her with a pretence for leaving mrs. C - - ge's house, to which
she was determined to return no more as a boarder. The good woman with
whom she had lodged at first recommended her to a friend of her's at
Windsor, where she immediately went, and was very kindly received.
CHAP. IV.
Louisa becomes acquainted with a lady of quality, part of whose
adventures are also related, and goes to travel with her.
Change of place affords but small relief to those whose distempers are
in the mind: Louisa carried with her too many perplexing thoughts to be
easily shook off; tho' the queen and court being then at Windsor, she
had the opportunity of seeing a great many of the gay world pass daily
by her window. - There also lodged in the same house with her a young
widow of quality, who was visited by persons of the first rank; but as
she was not of a condition to make one in any of these conversations,
she reaped no other satisfaction from them than what the eye afforded.
As she was not, however, of a temper to indulge melancholy, she made it
her endeavour to banish, as much as possible, all ideas which were
displeasing from her mind: to this end, a fine harpsicord happening to
stand in the dining-room, whenever the lady was abroad, she went in and
diverted herself with playing. She was one day entertaining the woman of
the house with a tune, which she accompanied with her voice, when the
lady returning sooner than was expected, and hearing the instrument
before she came up stairs, would needs know who it was had been making
use of it; for Louisa hurried out of the room before she came in: the
landlady, as there was no occasion to disguise the truth, told her that
it was a young woman, who not being very well, had come down into the
country for air.
She has had an excellent education, I am certain, said the lady, (who
henceforward we shall call Melanthe) for in my life I never heard any
body play or sing better: - I must be acquainted with her; on which the
other said she would let her know the honour she intended her.
That very evening, as great ladies no sooner think of any thing but they
must have it performed, was Louisa sent for into her apartment; and her
countenance and behaviour so well seconded the good impression her skill
in music had begun, that Melanthe became charm'd with her, and from that
time obliged her to come to her every morning; and whenever she was
without company, made her dine and sup with her. Being curious to know
her circumstances, Louisa made no scruple of acquainting her with the
truth, only instead of relating how she had been exposed in her infancy,
said, that having the misfortune to be deprived of her parents, it was
her intention to wait on a lady, and till she heard of one who would
accept her service, she had work'd at her needle.
Melanthe then asked if she would live with her; to which the other
gladly answering, she should think herself happy in such a lady; but you
must go abroad then, said she, for I am weary of England, and am
preparing to travel: as it is a route of pleasure only, I shall stay
just as long as I find any thing new and entertaining in one place, then
go to another till I am tired of that, and so on, I know not how long;
for unless my mind alters very much, I shall not come back in
some years.
Louisa was perfectly transported to hear her say this; she had a great
desire to see foreign parts, and thought she never could have a better
opportunity:
