Now That I Had Seen And Remembered Her Again, It Was A Consolation To
Think That She Was Already In Her Decline When I First Knew And Was
Attracted By Her And On That Account Had Never Wholly Lost My Heart To
Her.
How different my feelings would have been if after pronouncing
that irrevocable judgment, I had recognised one of my vanished
darlings - one, say, like that child on Cromer Beach, or of dozens of
other fairylike little ones I have known and loved, and whose images
are enduring and sacred!
XXI
WILD FLOWERS AND LITTLE GIRLS
Thinking of the numerous company of little girls of infinite charm I
have met, and of their evanishment, I have a vision of myself on
horseback on the illimitable green level pampas, under the wide sunlit
cerulean sky in late September or early October, when the wild flowers
are at their best before the wilting heats of summer.
Seeing the flowers so abundant, I dismount and lead my horse by the
bridle and walk knee-deep in the lush grass, stooping down at every
step to look closely at the shy, exquisite blooms in their dewy morning
freshness and divine colours. Flowers of an inexpressible unearthly
loveliness and unforgettable; for how forget them when their images
shine in memory in all their pristine morning brilliance!
That is how I remember and love to remember them, in that first fresh
aspect, not as they appear later, the petals wilted or dropped, sun-
browned, ripening their seed and fruit.
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