The Ruddy Faces Gaping Out Of The Windows;
Sometimes Of A Portly Old Citizen, Sometimes Of A Voluminous Dowager,
And Sometimes Of A Fine Fresh Hoyden, Just From Boarding School.
And
then the dickeys loaded with well-dressed servants, beef-fed and bluff;
looking down from their heights with contempt on all the world around;
profoundly ignorant of the country and the people, and devoutly certain
that every thing not English must be wrong.
Such was the carriage of Alderman Popkins, as it made its appearance at
Terracina. The courier who had preceded it, to order horses, and who
was a Neapolitan, had given a magnificent account of the riches and
greatness of his master, blundering with all an Italian's splendor of
imagination about the alderman's titles and dignities; the host had
added his usual share of exaggeration, so that by the time the alderman
drove up to the door, he was Milor - Magnifico - Principe - the Lord knows
what!
The alderman was advised to take an escort to Fondi and Itri, but he
refused. It was as much as a man's life was worth, he said, to stop him
on the king's highway; he would complain of it to the ambassador at
Naples; he would make a national affair of it. The principezza Popkins,
a fresh, motherly dame, seemed perfectly secure in the protection of
her husband, so omnipotent a man in the city. The signorini Popkins,
two fine bouncing girls, looked to their brother Tom, who had taken
lessons in boxing; and as to the dandy himself, he was sure no
scaramouch of an Italian robber would dare to meddle with an
Englishman. The landlord shrugged his shoulders and turned out the
palms of his hands with a true Italian grimace, and the carriage of
Milor Popkins rolled on.
They passed through several very suspicious places without any
molestation. The Misses Popkins, who were very romantic, and had learnt
to draw in water colors, were enchanted with the savage scenery around;
it was so like what they had read in Mrs. Radcliffe's romances, they
should like of all things to make sketches. At length, the carriage
arrived at a place where the road wound up a long hill. Mrs. Popkins
had sunk into a sleep; the young ladies were reading the last works of
Sir Walter Scott and Lord Byron, and the dandy was hectoring the
postilions from the coach box. The Alderman got out, as he said, to
stretch his legs up the hill. It was a long winding ascent, and obliged
him every now and then to stop and blow and wipe his forehead with many
a pish! and phew! being rather pursy and short of wind. As the
carriage, however, was far behind him, and toiling slowly under the
weight of so many well-stuffed trunks and well-stuffed travellers, he
had plenty of time to walk at leisure.
On a jutting point of rock that overhung the road nearly at the summit
of the hill, just where the route began again to descend, he saw a
solitary man seated, who appeared to be tending goats. Alderman Popkins
was one of your shrewd travellers that always like to be picking up
small information along the road, so he thought he'd just scramble up
to the honest man, and have a little talk with him by way of learning
the news and getting a lesson in Italian. As he drew near to the
peasant he did not half like his looks. He was partly reclining on the
rocks wrapped in the usual long mantle, which, with his slouched hat,
only left a part of a swarthy visage, with a keen black eye, a beetle
brow, and a fierce moustache to be seen. He had whistled several times
to his dog which was roving about the side of the hill. As the Alderman
approached he rose and greeted him. When standing erect he seemed
almost gigantic, at least in the eyes of Alderman Popkins; who,
however, being a short man, might be deceived.
The latter would gladly now have been back in the carriage, or even on
'change in London, for he was by no means well pleased with his
company. However, he determined to put the best face on matters, and
was beginning a conversation about the state of the weather, the
baddishness of the crops, and the price of goats in that part of the
country, when he heard a violent screaming. He ran to the edge of the
rock, and, looking over, saw away down the road his carriage surrounded
by robbers. One held down the fat footman, another had the dandy by his
starched cravat, with a pistol to his head; one was rummaging a
portmanteau, another rummaging the principezza's pockets, while the two
Misses Popkins were screaming from each window of the carriage, and
their waiting maid squalling from the dickey.
Alderman Popkins felt all the fury of the parent and the magistrate
Roused within him. He grasped his cane and was on the point of
scrambling down the rocks, either to assault the robbers or to read the
riot act, when he was suddenly grasped by the arm. It was by his friend
the goatherd, whose cloak, falling partly off, discovered a belt stuck
full of pistols and stilettos. In short, he found himself in the
clutches of the captain of the band, who had stationed himself on the
rock to look out for travellers and to give notice to his men.
A sad ransacking took place. Trunks were turned inside out, and all the
finery and the frippery of the Popkins family scattered about the road.
Such a chaos of Venice beads and Roman mosaics; and Paris bonnets of
the young ladies, mingled with the alderman's night-caps and lamb's
wool stockings, and the dandy's hair-brushes, stays, and starched
cravats.
The gentlemen were eased of their purses and their watches; the ladies
of their jewels, and the whole party were on the point of being carried
up into the mountain, when fortunately the appearance of soldiery at a
distance obliged the robbers to make off with the spoils they had
secured, and leave the Popkins family to gather together the remnants
of their effects, and make the best of their way to Fondi.
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