When his companions had dispersed, Buckthorne drew him aside and made
Himself known to him. The tragic veteran could scarcely recognize him,
or believe that he was really his quondam associate "little gentleman
Jack." Buckthorne invited him to a neighboring coffee-house to talk
over old times; and in the course of a little while we were put in
possession of his history in brief.
He had continued to act the heroes in the strolling company for some
time after Buckthorne had left it, or rather had been driven from it so
abruptly. At length the manager died, and the troop was thrown into
confusion. Every one aspired to the crown; every one was for taking the
lead; and the manager's widow, although a tragedy queen, and a
brimstone to boot, pronounced it utterly impossible to keep any control
over such a set of tempestuous rascallions.
Upon this hint I spoke, said Flimsey - I stepped forward, and offered my
services in the most effectual way. They were accepted. In a week's
time I married the widow and succeeded to the throne. "The funeral
baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage table," as Hamlet
says. But the ghost of my predecessor never haunted me; and I inherited
crowns, sceptres, bowls, daggers, and all the stage trappings and
trumpery, not omitting the widow, without the least molestation.
I now led a flourishing life of it; for our company was pretty strong
And attractive, and as my wife and I took the heavy parts of tragedy,
it was a great saving to the treasury. We carried off the palm from all
the rival shows at country fairs; and I assure you we have even drawn
full houses, and being applauded by the critics at Bartlemy fair
itself, though we had Astley's troupe, the Irish giant, and "the death
of Nelson" in wax-work to contend against.
I soon began to experience, however, the cares of command. I discovered
that there were cabals breaking out in the company, headed by the
clown, who you may recollect was a terribly peevish, fractious fellow,
and always in ill-humor. I had a great mind to turn him off at once,
but I could not do without him, for there was not a droller scoundrel
on the stage. His very shape was comic, for he had to turn his back
upon the audience and all the ladies were ready to die with laughing.
He felt his importance, and took advantage of it. He would keep the
audience in a continual roar, and then come behind the scenes and fret
and fume and play the very devil. I excused a great deal in him,
however, knowing that comic actors are a little prone to this infirmity
of temper.
I had another trouble of a nearer and dearer nature to struggle with;
which was, the affection of my wife. As ill luck would have it, she
took it into her head to be very fond of me, and became intolerably
jealous. I could not keep a pretty girl in the company, and hardly
dared embrace an ugly one, even when my part required it. I have known
her to reduce a fine lady to tatters, "to very rags," as Hamlet says,
in an instant, and destroy one of the very best dresses in the
wardrobe; merely because she saw me kiss her at the side
scenes; - though I give you my honor it was done merely by way of
rehearsal.
This was doubly annoying, because I have a natural liking to pretty
faces, and wish to have them about me; and because they are
indispensable to the success of a company at a fair, where one has to
vie with so many rival theatres. But when once a jealous wife gets a
freak in her head there's no use in talking of interest or anything
else. Egad, sirs, I have more than once trembled when, during a fit of
her tantrums, she was playing high tragedy, and flourishing her tin
dagger on the stage, lest she should give way to her humor, and stab
some fancied rival in good earnest.
I went on better, however, than could be expected, considering the
weakness of my flesh and the violence of my rib. I had not a much worse
time of it than old Jupiter, whose spouse was continually ferreting out
some new intrigue and making the heavens almost too hot to hold him.
At length, as luck would have it, we were performing at a country fair,
when I understood the theatre of a neighboring town to be vacant. I had
always been desirous to be enrolled in a settled company, and the
height of my desire was to get on a par with a brother-in-law, who was
manager of a regular theatre, and who had looked down upon me. Here was
an opportunity not to be neglected. I concluded an agreement with the
proprietors, and in a few days opened the theatre with great eclat.
Behold me now at the summit of my ambition, "the high top-gallant of my
joy," as Thomas says. No longer a chieftain of a wandering tribe, but
the monarch of a legitimate throne - and entitled to call even the great
potentates of Covent Garden and Drury Lane cousin.
You no doubt think my happiness complete. Alas, sir! I was one of the
Most uncomfortable dogs living. No one knows, who has not tried, the
miseries of a manager; but above all, of a country management - no one
can conceive the contentions and quarrels within doors, the oppressions
and vexations from without.
