We had
dwelt together on the works of the famous masters. I had related to her
their histories; the high reputation, the influence, the magnificence
to which they had attained; - the companions of princes, the favorites
of kings, the pride and boast of nations. All this she applied to me.
Her love saw nothing in their greatest productions that I was not able
to achieve; and when I saw the lovely creature glow with fervor, and
her whole countenance radiant with the visions of my glory, which
seemed breaking upon her, I was snatched up for the moment into the
heaven of her own imagination.
I am dwelling too long upon this part of my story; yet I cannot help
Lingering over a period of my life, on which, with all its cares and
conflicts, I look back with fondness; for as yet my soul was unstained
by a crime. I do not know what might have been the result of this
struggle between pride, delicacy, and passion, had I not read in a
Neapolitan gazette an account of the sudden death of my brother. It was
accompanied by an earnest inquiry for intelligence concerning me, and a
prayer, should this notice meet my eye, that I would hasten to Naples,
to comfort an infirm and afflicted father.
I was naturally of an affectionate disposition; but my brother had
never been as a brother to me; I had long considered myself as
disconnected from him, and his death caused me but little emotion. The
thoughts of my father, infirm and suffering, touched me, however, to
the quick; and when I thought of him, that lofty, magnificent being,
now bowed down and desolate, and suing to me for comfort, all my
resentment for past neglect was subdued, and a glow of filial affection
was awakened within me.
The predominant feeling, however, that overpowered all others was
transport at the sudden change in my whole fortunes. A home - a name - a
rank - wealth awaited me; and love painted a still more rapturous
prospect in the distance. I hastened to Bianca, and threw myself at her
feet. "Oh, Bianca," exclaimed I, "at length I can claim you for my own.
I am no longer a nameless adventurer, a neglected, rejected outcast.
Look - read, behold the tidings that restore me to my name and to
myself!"
I will not dwell on the scene that ensued. Bianca rejoiced in the
reverse of my situation, because she saw it lightened my heart of a
load of care; for her own part she had loved me for myself, and had
never doubted that my own merits would command both fame and fortune.
I now felt all my native pride buoyant within me; I no longer walked
with my eyes bent to the dust; hope elevated them to the skies; my soul
was lit up with fresh fires, and beamed from my countenance.
I wished to impart the change in my circumstances to the Count; to let
him know who and what I was, and to make formal proposals for the hand
of Bianca; but the Count was absent on a distant estate. I opened my
whole soul to Filippo. Now first I told him of my passion; of the
doubts and fears that had distracted me, and of the tidings that had
suddenly dispelled them. He overwhelmed me with congratulations and
with the warmest expressions of sympathy. I embraced him in the
fullness of my heart. I felt compunctious for having suspected him of
coldness, and asked him forgiveness for having ever doubted his
friendship.
Nothing is so warm, and enthusiastic as a sudden expansion of the heart
between young men. Filippo entered into our concerns with the most
eager interest. He was our confidant and counsellor. It was determined
that I should hasten at once to Naples to re-establish myself in my
father's affections and my paternal home, and the moment the
reconciliation was effected and my father's consent insured, I should
return and demand Bianca of the Count. Filippo engaged to secure his
father's acquiescence; indeed, he undertook to watch over our
interests, and was the channel through which we were to correspond.
My parting with Bianca was tender - delicious - agonizing.
It was in a little pavilion of the garden which had been one of our
favorite resorts. How often and often did I return to have one more
adieu - to have her look once more on me in speechless emotion - to enjoy
once more the rapturous sight of those tears streaming down her lovely
cheeks - to seize once more on that delicate hand, the frankly accorded
pledge of love, and cover it with tears and kisses! Heavens! There is a
delight even in the parting agony of two lovers worth a thousand tame
pleasures of the world. I have her at this moment before my eyes - at
the window of the pavilion, putting aside the vines that clustered
about the casement - her light form beaming forth in virgin white - her
countenance all tears and smiles - sending a thousand and a thousand
adieus after me, as, hesitating, in a delirium of fondness and
agitation, I faltered my way down the avenue.
As the bark bore me out of the harbor of Genoa, how eagerly my eyes
Stretched along the coast of Sestri, till it discerned the villa
gleaming from among trees at the foot of the mountain. As long as day
lasted, I gazed and gazed upon it, till it lessened and lessened to a
mere white speck in the distance; and still my intense and fixed gaze
discerned it, when all other objects of the coast had blended into
indistinct confusion, or were lost in the evening gloom.
On arriving at Naples, I hastened to my paternal home.
