My
grandfather found himself seated in the middle of the floor, with the
clothes-press sprawling before him, and the two handles jerked off and
in his hands.
"Then after all, this was a mere dream!" said the inquisitive
gentleman.
"The divil a bit of a dream!" replied the Irishman: "there never was a
truer fact in this world. Faith, I should have liked to see any man
tell my grandfather it was a dream."
Well, gentlemen, as the clothes-press was a mighty heavy body, and my
grandfather likewise, particularly in rear, you may easily suppose two
such heavy bodies coming to the ground would make a bit of a noise.
Faith, the old mansion shook as though it had mistaken it for an
earthquake. The whole garrison was alarmed. The landlord, who slept
just below, hurried up with a candle to inquire the cause, but with all
his haste his daughter had hurried to the scene of uproar before him.
The landlord was followed by the landlady, who was followed by the
bouncing bar-maid, who was followed by the simpering chambermaids all
holding together, as well as they could, such garments as they had
first lain hands on; but all in a terrible hurry to see what the devil
was to pay in the chamber of the bold dragoon.
My grandfather related the marvellous scene he had witnessed, and the
prostrate clothes-press, and the broken handles, bore testimony to the
fact. There was no contesting such evidence; particularly with a lad of
my grandfather's complexion, who seemed able to make good every word
either with sword or shillelah. So the landlord scratched his head and
looked silly, as he was apt to do when puzzled. The landlady
scratched - no, she did not scratch her head, - but she knit her brow,
and did not seem half pleased with the explanation. But the landlady's
daughter corroborated it by recollecting that the last person who had
dwelt in that chamber was a famous juggler who had died of St. Vitus's
dance, and no doubt had infected all the furniture.
This set all things to rights, particularly when the chambermaids
declared that they had all witnessed strange carryings on in that
room; - and as they declared this "upon their honors," there could not
remain a doubt upon the subject.
"And did your grandfather go to bed again in that room?" said the
inquisitive gentleman.
"That's more than I can tell. Where he passed the rest of the night was
a secret he never disclosed. In fact, though he had seen much service,
he was but indifferently acquainted with geography, and apt to make
blunders in his travels about inns at night, that it would have puzzled
him sadly to account for in the morning."
"Was he ever apt to walk in his sleep?" said the knowing old gentleman.
"Never that I heard of."
THE ADVENTURE OF THE MYSTERIOUS PICTURE.
As one story of the kind produces another, and as all the company
seemed fully engrossed by the topic, and disposed to bring their
relatives and ancestors upon the scene, there is no knowing how many
more ghost adventures we might have heard, had not a corpulent old
fox-hunter, who had slept soundly through the whole, now suddenly
awakened, with a loud and long-drawn yawn. The sound broke the charm;
the ghosts took to flight as though it had been cock-crowing, and there
was a universal move for bed.
"And now for the haunted chamber," said the Irish captain, taking his
candle.
"Aye, who's to be the hero of the night?" said the gentleman with the
ruined head.
"That we shall see in the morning," said the old gentleman with the
nose: "whoever looks pale and grizzly will have seen the ghost."
"Well, gentlemen," said the Baronet, "there's many a true thing said in
jest. In fact, one of you will sleep in a room to-night - "
"What - a haunted room? a haunted room? I claim the adventure - and
I - and I - and I," cried a dozen guests, talking and laughing at the
same time.
"No - no," said mine host, "there is a secret about one of my rooms on
which I feel disposed to try an experiment. So, gentlemen, none of you
shall know who has the haunted chamber, until circumstances reveal it.
I will not even know it myself, but will leave it to chance and the
allotment of the housekeeper. At the same time, if it will be any
satisfaction to you, I will observe, for the honor of my paternal
mansion, that there's scarcely a chamber in it but is well worthy of
being haunted."
We now separated for the night, and each went to his allotted room.
Mine was in one wing of the building, and I could not but smile at its
resemblance in style to those eventful apartments described in the
tales of the supper table. It was spacious and gloomy, decorated with
lamp-black portraits, a bed of ancient damask, with a tester
sufficiently lofty to grace a couch of state, and a number of massive
pieces of old-fashioned furniture. I drew a great claw-footed arm-chair
before the wide fire-place; stirred up the fire; sat looking into it,
and musing upon the odd stories I had heard; until, partly overcome by
the fatigue of the day's hunting, and partly by the wine and wassail of
mine host, I fell asleep in my chair.
The uneasiness of my position made my slumber troubled, and laid me at
the mercy of all kinds of wild and fearful dreams; now it was that my
perfidious dinner and supper rose in rebellion against my peace. I was
hag-ridden by a fat saddle of mutton; a plum pudding weighed like lead
upon my conscience; the merry thought of a capon filled me with
horrible suggestions; and a devilled leg of a turkey stalked in all
kinds of diabolical shapes through my imagination.
