HEER VERKOOPT MAN GOEDEN DRANK.
My grandfather had learnt enough of the language to know that the sign
promised good liquor. "This is the house for me," said he, stopping
short before the door.
The sudden appearance of a dashing dragoon was an event in an old inn,
frequented only by the peaceful sons of traffic. A rich burgher of
Antwerp, a stately ample man, in a broad Flemish hat, and who was the
great man and great patron of the establishment, sat smoking a clean
long pipe on one side of the door; a fat little distiller of Geneva
from Schiedam, sat smoking on the other, and the bottle-nosed host
stood in the door, and the comely hostess, in crimped cap, beside him;
and the hostess' daughter, a plump Flanders lass, with long gold
pendants in her ears, was at a side window.
"Humph!" said the rich burgher of Antwerp, with a sulky glance at the
stranger.
"Der duyvel!" said the fat little distiller of Schiedam.
The landlord saw with the quick glance of a publican that the new guest
was not at all, at all, to the taste of the old ones; and to tell the
truth, he did not himself like my grandfather's saucy eye.
He shook his head - "Not a garret in the house but was full."
"Not a garret!" echoed the landlady.
"Not a garret!" echoed the daughter.
The burgher of Antwerp and the little distiller of Schiedam continued
to smoke their pipes sullenly, eyed the enemy askance from under their
broad hats, but said nothing.
My grandfather was not a man to be browbeaten. He threw the reins on
his horse's neck, cocked his hat on one side, stuck one arm akimbo,
slapped his broad thigh with the other hand -
"Faith and troth!" said he, "but I'll sleep in this house this very
night!"
My grandfather had on a tight pair of buckskins - the slap went to the
landlady's heart.
He followed up the vow by jumping off his horse, and making his way
past the staring Mynheers into the public room. May be you've been in
the barroom of an old Flemish inn - faith, but a handsome chamber it was
as you'd wish to see; with a brick floor, a great fire-place, with the
whole Bible history in glazed tiles; and then the mantel-piece,
pitching itself head foremost out of the wall, with a whole regiment of
cracked tea-pots and earthen jugs paraded on it; not to mention half a
dozen great Delft platters hung about the room by way of pictures; and
the little bar in one corner, and the bouncing bar-maid inside of it
with a red calico cap and yellow ear-drops.
My grandfather snapped his fingers over his head, as he cast an eye
round the room: "Faith, this is the very house I've been looking
after," said he.
There was some farther show of resistance on the part of the garrison,
but my grandfather was an old soldier, and an Irishman to boot, and not
easily repulsed, especially after he had got into the fortress. So he
blarney'd the landlord, kissed the landlord's wife, tickled the
landlord's daughter, chucked the bar-maid under the chin; and it was
agreed on all hands that it would be a thousand pities, and a burning
shame into the bargain, to turn such a bold dragoon into the streets.
So they laid their heads together, that is to say, my grandfather and
the landlady, and it was at length agreed to accommodate him with an
old chamber that had for some time been shut up.
"Some say it's haunted!" whispered the landlord's daughter, "but you're
a bold dragoon, and I dare say you don't fear ghosts."
"The divil a bit!" said my grandfather, pinching her plump cheek; "but
if I should be troubled by ghosts, I've been to the Red Sea in my time,
and have a pleasant way of laying them, my darling!"
And then he whispered something to the girl which made her laugh, and
give him a good-humored box on the ear. In short, there was nobody knew
better how to make his way among the petticoats than my grandfather.
In a little while, as was his usual way, he took complete possession of
the house: swaggering all over it; - into the stable to look after his
horse; into the kitchen to look after his supper. He had something to
say or do with every one; smoked with the Dutchmen; drank with the
Germans; slapped the men on the shoulders, tickled the women under the
ribs:-never since the days of Ally Croaker had such a rattling blade
been seen. The landlord stared at him with astonishment; the landlord's
daughter hung her head and giggled whenever he came near; and as he
turned his back and swaggered along, his tight jacket setting off his
broad shoulders and plump buckskins, and his long sword trailing by his
side, the maids whispered to one another - "What a proper man!"
At supper my grandfather took command of the table d'hote as though he
had been at home; helped everybody, not forgetting himself; talked with
every one, whether he understood their language or not; and made his
way into the intimacy of the rich burgher of Antwerp, who had never
been known to be sociable with any one during his life. In fact, he
revolutionized the whole establishment, and gave it such a rouse, that
the very house reeled with it. He outsat every one at table excepting
the little fat distiller of Schiedam, who had sat soaking for a long
time before he broke forth; but when he did, he was a very devil
incarnate. He took a violent affection for my grandfather; so they sat
drinking, and smoking, and telling stories, and singing Dutch and Irish
songs, without understanding a word each other said, until the little
Hollander was fairly swampt with his own gin and water, and carried off
to bed, whooping and hiccuping, and trolling the burthen of a Low Dutch
love song.
