The Conductors Do All In Their Power To Mitigate The Lot Of Unhappy
Strangers, And It Is Only Now And Again That You Hear An Absent-
Minded Or Logical One Call Out, 'Castoria!
All the w'y for a penny.'
We claim for our method of travelling, not that it is authoritative,
but that it is simple - suitable to persons whose desires are
flexible and whose plans are not fixed. It has its disadvantages,
which may indeed be said of almost anything. For instance, we had
gone for two successive mornings on a Cadbury's Cocoa 'bus to
Francesca's dressmaker in Kensington. On the third morning,
deceived by the ambitious and unscrupulous Cadbury, we mounted it
and journeyed along comfortably three miles to the east of
Kensington before we discovered our mistake. It was a pleasant and
attractive neighbourhood where we found ourselves, but unfortunately
Francesca's dressmaker did not reside there.
If you have determined to take a certain train from a certain
station, and do not care for any other, no matter if it should turn
out to be just as interesting, then never take a Lipton's Tea 'bus,
for it is the most unreliable of all. If it did not sound so
learned, and if I did not feel that it must have been said before,
it is so apt, I should quote Horace, and say, 'Omnibus hoc vitium
est.' There is no 'bus unseized by the Napoleonic Lipton. Do not
ascend one of them supposing for a moment that by paying fourpence
and going to the very end of the route you will come to a neat tea
station, where you will be served with the cheering cup.
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