There was nobody in the box I was let into but a kindly old French
officer. I love the character, not only because I honour the man
whose manners are softened by a profession which makes bad men
worse; but that I once knew one, - for he is no more, - and why
should I not rescue one page from violation by writing his name in
it, and telling the world it was Captain Tobias Shandy, the dearest
of my flock and friends, whose philanthropy I never think of at
this long distance from his death - but my eyes gush out with tears.
For his sake I have a predilection for the whole corps of veterans;
and so I strode over the two back rows of benches and placed myself
beside him.
The old officer was reading attentively a small pamphlet, it might
be the book of the opera, with a large pair of spectacles. As soon
as I sat down, he took his spectacles off, and putting them into a
shagreen case, return'd them and the book into his pocket together.
I half rose up, and made him a bow.
Translate this into any civilized language in the world - the sense
is this:
"Here's a poor stranger come into the box - he seems as if he knew
nobody; and is never likely, was he to be seven years in Paris, if
every man he comes near keeps his spectacles upon his nose: - 'tis
shutting the door of conversation absolutely in his face - and using
him worse than a German."
The French officer might as well have said it all aloud: and if he
had, I should in course have put the bow I made him into French
too, and told him, "I was sensible of his attention, and return'd
him a thousand thanks for it."
There is not a secret so aiding to the progress of sociality, as to
get master of this SHORT HAND, and to be quick in rendering the
several turns of looks and limbs with all their inflections and
delineations, into plain words. For my own part, by long habitude,
I do it so mechanically, that, when I walk the streets of London, I
go translating all the way; and have more than once stood behind in
the circle, where not three words have been said, and have brought
off twenty different dialogues with me, which I could have fairly
wrote down and sworn to.
I was going one evening to Martini's concert at Milan, and, was
just entering the door of the hall, when the Marquisina di F- was
coming out in a sort of a hurry: - she was almost upon me before I
saw her; so I gave a spring to once side to let her pass. - She had
done the same, and on the same side too; so we ran our heads
together: she instantly got to the other side to get out: I was
just as unfortunate as she had been, for I had sprung to that side,
and opposed her passage again.
