If There Is No Cleanliness Among These People,
Much Less Shall We Find Delicacy, Which Is The Cleanliness Of The
Mind.
Indeed they are utter strangers to what we call common
decency; and I could give you some high-flavoured instances, at
which even a native of Edinburgh would stop his nose.
There are
certain mortifying views of human nature, which undoubtedly ought
to be concealed as much as possible, in order to prevent giving
offence: and nothing can be more absurd, than to plead the
difference of custom in different countries, in defence of these
usages which cannot fail giving disgust to the organs and senses
of all mankind. Will custom exempt from the imputation of gross
indecency a French lady, who shifts her frowsy smock in presence
of a male visitant, and talks to him of her lavement, her
medecine, and her bidet! An Italian signora makes no scruple of
telling you, she is such a day to begin a course of physic for
the pox. The celebrated reformer of the Italian comedy introduces
a child befouling itself, on the stage, OE, NO TI SENTI? BISOGNA
DESFASSARLO, (fa cenno che sentesi mal odore). I have known a
lady handed to the house of office by her admirer, who stood at
the door, and entertained her with bons mots all the time she was
within. But I should be glad to know, whether it is possible for
a fine lady to speak and act in this manner, without exciting
ideas to her own disadvantage in the mind of every man who has
any imagination left, and enjoys the entire use of his senses,
howsoever she may be authorised by the customs of her country?
There is nothing so vile or repugnant to nature, but you may
plead prescription for it, in the customs of some nation or
other. A Parisian likes mortified flesh: a native of Legiboli
will not taste his fish till it is quite putrefied: the civilized
inhabitants of Kamschatka get drunk with the urine of their
guests, whom they have already intoxicated: the Nova Zemblans
make merry on train-oil: the Groenlanders eat in the same dish
with their dogs: the Caffres, at the Cape of Good Hope, piss upon
those whom they delight to honour, and feast upon a sheep's
intestines with their contents, as the greatest dainty that can
be presented. A true-bred Frenchman dips his fingers, imbrowned
with snuff, into his plate filled with ragout: between every
three mouthfuls, he produces his snuff-box, and takes a fresh
pinch, with the most graceful gesticulations; then he displays
his handkerchief, which may be termed the flag of abomination,
and, in the use of both, scatters his favours among those who
have the happiness to sit near him. It must be owned, however,
that a Frenchman will not drink out of a tankard, in which,
perhaps, a dozen of filthy mouths have flabbered, as is the
custom in England. Here every individual has his own gobelet,
which stands before him, and he helps himself occasionally with
wine or water, or both, which likewise stand upon the table. But
I know no custom more beastly than that of using water-glasses,
in which polite company spirt, and squirt, and spue the filthy
scourings of their gums, under the eyes of each other. I knew a
lover cured of his passion, by seeing this nasty cascade
discharged from the mouth of his mistress. I don't doubt but I
shall live to see the day, when the hospitable custom of the
antient Aegyptians will be revived; then a conveniency will be
placed behind every chair in company, with a proper provision of
waste paper, that individuals may make themselves easy without
parting company. I insist upon it, that this practice would not
be more indelicate than that which is now in use. What then, you
will say, must a man sit with his chops and fingers up to the
ears and knuckles in grease? No; let those who cannot eat without
defiling themselves, step into another room, provided with basons
and towels: but I think it would be better to institute schools,
where youth may learn to eat their victuals, without daubing
themselves, or giving offence to the eyes of one another.
The bourgeois of Boulogne have commonly soup and bouilli at noon,
and a roast, with a sallad, for supper; and at all their meals
there is a dessert of fruit. This indeed is the practice all over
France. On meagre days they eat fish, omelettes, fried beans,
fricassees of eggs and onions, and burnt cream. The tea which
they drink in the afternoon is rather boiled than infused; it is
sweetened all together with coarse sugar, and drank with an equal
quantity of boiled milk.
We had the honour to be entertained the other day by our
landlord, Mr. B - , who spared no cost on this banquet, exhibited
for the glory of France. He had invited a newmarried couple,
together with the husband's mother and the lady's father, who was
one of the noblesse of Montreuil, his name Mons. L - y. There were
likewise some merchants of the town, and Mons. B - 's uncle, a
facetious little man, who had served in the English navy, and was
as big and as round as a hogshead; we were likewise favoured with
the company of father K - , a native of Ireland, who is vicaire or
curate of the parish; and among the guests was Mons. L - y's son,
a pretty boy, about thirteen or fourteen years of age. The repas
served up in three services, or courses, with entrees and hors
d'oeuvres, exclusive of the fruit, consisted of about twenty
dishes, extremely well dressed by the rotisseur, who is the best
cook I ever knew, in France, or elsewhere; but the plates were not
presented with much order. Our young ladies did not seem to be
much used to do the honours of the table. The most extraordinary
circumstance that I observed on this occasion - as, that all the
French who were present ate of every dish that appeared; and I am
told, that if there had been an hundred articles more, they would
have had a trial of each.
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