Your French Friend Intrudes Upon You At All Hours; He
Stuns You With His Loquacity; He Teases You With Impertinent
Questions about your domestic and private affairs; he attempts to
meddle in all your concerns, and forces his advice upon
You with
the most unwearied importunity; he asks the price of everything
you wear, and, so sure as you tell him, undervalues it without
hesitation; he affirms it is in a bad taste, ill contrived, ill
made; that you have been imposed upon both with respect to the
fashion and the price; that the marquis of this, or the countess
of that, has one that is perfectly elegant, quite in the bon ton,
and yet it cost her little more than you gave for a thing that
nobody would wear.
"If a Frenchman is admitted into your family, and distinguished
by repeated marks of your friendship and regard, the first return
he makes for your civilities is to make love to your wife, if she
is handsome; if not, to your sister, or daughter, or niece. If
he suffers a repulse from your wife, or attempts in vain to
debauch your sister, or your daughter, or your niece, he will,
rather than not play the traitor with his gallantry, make his
addresses to your grandmother; and ten to one but in one shape or
another he will find means to ruin the peace of a family in which
he has been so kindly entertained. What he cannot accomplish by
dint of compliment and personal attendance, he will endeavour to
effect by reinforcing these with billets-doux, songs, and verses,
of which he always makes a provision for such purposes.
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