All my labour was lost, and I now went round to the other hill; but
here were also steel traps and spring gnus, though probably never
intended to annoy such a wanderer as myself, who wished only to
enjoy the fine morning air from this eminence.
Thus disappointed in my hopes, I returned to Windsor, much in the
same temper and manner as I had yesterday morning from Richmond
Hill; where my wishes had also been frustrated.
When I got to my inn, I received from the ill-tempered maid, who
seemed to have been stationed there on purpose to plague and vex me,
the polite welcome, that on no account should I sleep another night
there. Luckily, that was not my intention. I now write to you in
the coffee room, where two Germans are talking together, who
certainly little suspect how well I understand them; if I were to
make myself known to them, as a German, most probably, even these
fellows would not speak to me, because I travel on foot. I fancy
they are Hanoverians! The weather is so fine that, notwithstanding
the inconveniences I have hitherto experienced on this account, I
think I shall continue my journey in the same manner.
CHAPTER X.
Oxford, June 25.
To what various, singular, and unaccountable fatalities and
adventures are not foot-travellers exposed, in this land of
carriages and horses! But, I will begin my relation in form and
order.
In Windsor, I was obliged to pay for an old fowl I had for supper,
for a bedroom which I procured with some difficulty, and not without
murmurs, and in which, to complete my misadventures, I was disturbed
by a drunken fellow; and for a couple of dishes of tea, nine
shillings, of which the fowl alone was charged six shillings.
As I was going away the waiter, who had served me with so very ill a
grace, placed himself on the stairs and said, "Pray remember the
waiter." I gave him three halfpence, on which he saluted me with
the heartiest "G-d d-n you, sir!" I had ever heard. At the door
stood the cross maid, who also accosted me with, "Pray remember the
chambermaid." "Yes, yes," said I, "I shall long remember your most
ill-mannered behaviour and shameful incivility;" and so I gave her
nothing. I hope she was stung and nettled at my reproof; however,
she strove to stifle her anger by a contemptuous, loud, hoarse
laugh. Thus, as I left Windsor, I was literally followed by abuses
and curses.
I am very sorry to say that I rejoiced when I once more perceived
the towers of Windsor behind me. It is not proper for wanderers to
be prowling near the palaces of kings, and so I sat me down,
philosophically, in the shade of a green hedge, and again read
Milton, no friend of kings, though the first of poets. Whatever I
may think of their inns, it is impossible not to admire and be
charmed with this country.
I took my way through Slough, by Salthill, to Maidenhead. At
Salthill, which can hardly be called even a village, I saw a
barber's shop, and so I resolved to get myself both shaved and
dressed. For putting my hair a little in order, and shaving me, I
was forced to pay him a shilling. Opposite to this shop there
stands an elegant house and a neat garden.
Between Salthill and Maidenhead, I met with the first very
remarkable and alarming adventure that has occurred during my
pilgrimage.
Hitherto I had scarcely met a single foot passenger, whilst coaches
without number every moment rolled past me, for there are few roads,
even in England, more crowded than this western road, which leads to
Bath and Bristol as well as to Oxford. I now also began to meet
numbers of people on horseback, which is by no means an usual method
of travelling.
The road now led me along a low sunken piece of ground between high
trees, so that I could not see far before me, when a fellow in a
brown frock and round hat, with a stick in his hand a great deal
stronger than mine, came up to me. His countenance immediately
struck me as having in it something suspicious. He however passed
me; but, before I was aware, he turned back and asked me for a
halfpenny to buy, as he said, some bread, as he had eaten nothing
that day. I felt in my pocket, and found that I had no halfpence:
no, nor even a sixpence; in short, nothing but shillings. I told
him the circumstance, which I hoped would excuse me; on which he
said, with an air and manner the drift of which I could not
understand, "God bless my soul!" This drew my attention still
closer to the huge brawny fist, which grasped his stick, and that
closer attention determined me immediately to put my hand in my
pocket and give him a shilling. Meanwhile a coach came up. The
fellow thanked me and went on. Had the coach come a moment sooner,
I should not easily have given him the shilling, which, God knows, I
could not well spare. Whether this was a footpad or not, I will not
pretend to say, but he had every appearance of it.
I now came to Maidenhead bridge, which is five-and-twenty English
miles from London.
The English milestones give me much pleasure, and they certainly are
a great convenience to travellers. They have often seemed to ease
me of half the distance of a journey merely by telling me how far I
had already gone, and by assuring me that I was on the right road.
For, besides the distance from London, every milestone informs you
that to the next place is so many miles, and where there are cross-
roads there are direction-posts, so that it is hardly possible to
lose one's-self in walking.
