Tremendous excitement was caused during our journey between
Heidelberg and Darmstadt by the discovery that we were travelling in
an express train (they called it an "express:" it jogged along at
the rate of twenty miles an hour when it could be got to move at
all; most of its time it seemed to be half asleep) with slow-train
tickets. The train was stopped at the next station and B. was
marched off between two stern-looking gold-laced officials to
explain the matter to a stern-looking gold-laced station-master,
surrounded by three stern-looking gold-laced followers. The scene
suggested a drum-head court-martial, and I could see that B. was
nervous, though outwardly calm and brave. He shouted back a light-
hearted adieu to me as he passed down the platform, and asked me, if
the worst happened, to break it gently to his mother.
However, no harm came of it, and he returned to the carriage without
a stain upon his character, he having made it clear to the
satisfaction of the court - firstly, That he did not know that our
tickets were only slow-train tickets; secondly, That he was not
aware that we were not travelling by a slow train; and thirdly, That
he was ready to pay the difference in the fares.
He blamed himself for having done this last, however, afterwards.
He seemed to think that he could have avoided this expense by
assuming ignorance of the German language. He said that two years
ago, when he was travelling in Germany with three other men, the
authorities came down upon them in much the same way for travelling
first-class with second-class tickets.
Why they were doing this B. did not seem able to explain very
clearly. He said that, if he recollected rightly, the guard had
told them to get into a first-class, or else they had not had time
to get into a second-class, or else they did not know they were not
in a second-class. I must confess his explanation appeared to me to
be somewhat lame.
Anyhow, there they were in a first-class carriage; and there was the
collector at the door, looking indignantly at their second-class
tickets, and waiting to hear what they had to say for themselves.
One of their party did not know much German, but what little he did
know he was very proud of and liked to air; and this one argued the
matter with the collector, and expressed himself in German so well
that the collector understood and disbelieved every word he said.
