"Oh, you must stop and see the children," she says. "They will be
home from school soon, and they'll be so disappointed if they hear
you have been here and gone away again. Lizzie will never forgive
you."
The engine-driver and the stoker laugh, and say that under those
circumstances they suppose they must stop; and they do so.
Meanwhile the booking-clerk has introduced the guard to his sister,
and such a very promising flirtation has been taking place behind
the ticket-office door that it would not be surprising if wedding-
bells were heard in the neighbourhood before long.
The second guard has gone down into the town to try and sell a dog,
and the passengers stroll about the platform and smoke, or partake
of a light meal in the refreshment-room - the poorer classes regaling
themselves upon hot sausage, and the more dainty upon soup. When
everybody appears to be sufficiently rested, a move onward is
suggested by the engine-driver or the guard, and if all are
agreeable to the proposal the train starts.
Tremendous excitement was caused during our journey between
Heidelberg and Darmstadt by the discovery that we were travelling in
an express train (they called it an "express:" it jogged along at
the rate of twenty miles an hour when it could be got to move at
all; most of its time it seemed to be half asleep) with slow-train
tickets. The train was stopped at the next station and B. was
marched off between two stern-looking gold-laced officials to
explain the matter to a stern-looking gold-laced station-master,
surrounded by three stern-looking gold-laced followers. The scene
suggested a drum-head court-martial, and I could see that B. was
nervous, though outwardly calm and brave. He shouted back a light-
hearted adieu to me as he passed down the platform, and asked me, if
the worst happened, to break it gently to his mother.
However, no harm came of it, and he returned to the carriage without
a stain upon his character, he having made it clear to the
satisfaction of the court - firstly, That he did not know that our
tickets were only slow-train tickets; secondly, That he was not
aware that we were not travelling by a slow train; and thirdly, That
he was ready to pay the difference in the fares.
He blamed himself for having done this last, however, afterwards.
He seemed to think that he could have avoided this expense by
assuming ignorance of the German language. He said that two years
ago, when he was travelling in Germany with three other men, the
authorities came down upon them in much the same way for travelling
first-class with second-class tickets.
Why they were doing this B. did not seem able to explain very
clearly. He said that, if he recollected rightly, the guard had
told them to get into a first-class, or else they had not had time
to get into a second-class, or else they did not know they were not
in a second-class. I must confess his explanation appeared to me to
be somewhat lame.
Anyhow, there they were in a first-class carriage; and there was the
collector at the door, looking indignantly at their second-class
tickets, and waiting to hear what they had to say for themselves.
One of their party did not know much German, but what little he did
know he was very proud of and liked to air; and this one argued the
matter with the collector, and expressed himself in German so well
that the collector understood and disbelieved every word he said.
He was also, on his part, able, with a little trouble, to understand
what the collector said, which was that he must pay eighteen marks.
And he had to.
As for the other three, two at all events of whom were excellent
German scholars, they did not understand anything, and nobody could
make them understand anything. The collector roared at them for
about ten minutes, and they smiled pleasantly and said they wanted
to go to Hanover. He went and fetched the station-master, and the
station-master explained to them for another ten minutes that, if
they did not pay eighteen shillings each, he should do the German
equivalent for summonsing them; and they smiled and nodded, and told
him that they wanted to go to Hanover. Then a very important-
looking personage in a cocked-hat came up, and was very angry; and
he and the station-master and the collector took it in turns to
explain to B. and his two friends the state of the law on the
matter.
They stormed and raged, and threatened and pleaded for a quarter of
an hour or so, and then they got sick, and slammed the door, and
went off, leaving the Government to lose the fifty-four marks.
We passed the German frontier on Wednesday, and have been in Belgium
since.
I like the Germans. B. says I ought not to let them know this,
because it will make them conceited; but I have no fear of such a
result. I am sure they possess too much common-sense for their
heads to be turned by praise, no matter from whom.
B. also says that I am displaying more energy than prudence in
forming an opinion of a people merely from a few weeks' travel
amongst them.
