"Would you mind telling that double-distilled abortion that if he goes
on making such a face I shall have to shoot him. Tell him, will you;
there's a good fellow."
And I had to "humour" him.
"The gentleman" - I would say - "begs you will try to assume another
expression of countenance," or words to that effect; whereto he would
tearfully reply something about the will of God and the workmanship of
his father and mother, honest folks, both of them. I was then obliged to
add gravely:
"You had better try, all the same, or he may shoot you. He has a
revolver in his pocket, and a shooting licence from your government."
This generally led to the production of a most ghastly smile, calculated
to convey an ingratiating impression.
"Look at him," O - - would continue. "He is almost too good to be shot.
And now let's see. What does he call these things? Ask him, will you?"
"Asparagus."
"Tell him that when I order asparagus I mean asparagus and not
walking-sticks. Tell him that if he brings me such objects again, I'll
ram the whole bundle up - down his throat. What does he expect me to do
with them, eh? You might ask him, will you? And, God! what's this? Tell
him (accellerando) that when I send a prescription to be made up at the
Royal Pharmacy - - "
"He explained about that.
