It Happened At Last, As With Most Thieves It Does, That The Inn-
Keeper Was Too Cunning For Him, And The Poor Dog Was Nabbed, Taken
In The Fact, And Could Make No Defence.
Having found the thief and got him in custody, the master of the
house, a good-humoured fellow, and
Loth to disoblige the dog's
master by executing the criminal, as the dog law directs, mitigates
his sentence, and handled him as follows:- First, taking out his
knife, he cut off both his ears; and then, bringing him to the
threshold, he chopped off his tail. And having thus effectually
dishonoured the poor cur among his neighbours, he tied a string
about his neck, and a piece of paper to the string, directed to his
master, and with these witty West Country verses on it:-
"To my honoured master,--Esq.
"Hail master a cham a' com hoam,
So cut as an ape, and tail have I noan,
For stealing of beef and pork out of the pail,
For thease they'v cut my ears, for th' wother my tail;
Nea measter, and us tell thee more nor that
And's come there again, my brains will be flat."
I could give many more accounts of the different dialects of the
people of this country, in some of which they are really not to be
understood; but the particulars have little or no diversion in
them. They carry it such a length that we see their "jouring"
speech even upon their monuments and grave-stones; as, for example,
even in some of the churchyards of the city of Bristol I saw this
excellent poetry after some other lines:-
"And when that thou doest hear of thick,
Think of the glass that runneth quick."
But I proceed into Devonshire.
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