Howsomever, I am not writing a critique of the merits
of the performance. If I were I shou1d say that to begin with the
title of the piece was wrong. It should have been called Lapsus
Lingerie - signifying as the Latins would say, "A Mere Slip." At
this moment I am concerned with what happened upon our entrance.
At the door a middle-aged female, who was raising a natty mustache,
handed us programs. I paid her for the programs and tipped her.
She turned us over to a stout brunette lady who was cultivating a
neat and flossy pair of muttonchops. This person escorted us down
the aisle to where our seats were; so I tipped her. Alongside our
seats stood a third member of the sisterhood, chiefly distinguished
from her confreres by the fact that she was turning out something
very fetching in the way of a brown vandyke; and after we were
seated she continued to stand there, holding forth her hand toward
me, palm up and fingers extended in the national gesture, and
saying something in her native tongue very rapidly. Incidentally
she was blocking the path of a number of people who had come down
the aisle immediately behind us.
I thought possibly she desired to see our coupons, so I hauled
them out and exhibited them. She shook her head at that and gabbled
faster than ever. It next occurred to me that perhaps she wanted
to furnish us with programs and was asking in advance for the money
with which to pay for them. I explained to her that I already
secured programs from her friend with the mustache. I did this
mainly in English, but partly in French - at least I employed the
correct French word for program, which is programme. To prove my
case I pulled the two programs from my pocket and showed them to
her. She continued to shake her head with great emphasis, babbling
on at an increased speed. The situation was beginning to verge
on the embarrassing when a light dawned on me. She wanted a tip,
that was it! She had not done anything to earn a tip that I could
see; and unless one had been reared in the barbering business she
was not particularly attractive to look on, and even then only in
a professional aspect; but I tipped her and bade her begone, and
straightway she bewent, satisfied and smiling. From that moment
on I knew my book. When in doubt I tipped one person - the person
nearest to me. When in deep doubt I tipped two or more persons.
And all was well.
On the next evening but one I had another lesson, which gave me
further insight into the habits and customs of these gay and
gladsome Parisians. We were completing a round of the all-night
cafes and cabarets.
