Had descended as far as I
could go without entirely immuring myself, he buttoned the dewdabs
at the knees; then he went round behind me and cinched them in
abruptly, so that of a sudden they became quite snug at the
waistline; the only trouble was that the waistline had moved close
up under my armpits, practically eliminating about a foot and a
half of me that I had always theretofore regarded as indispensable
to the general effect. Right in the middle of my back, up between
my shoulder blades there was a stiff, hard clump of something that
bored into my spine uncomfortably. I could feel it quite
plainly - lumpy and rough.
"Ow's that, sir?" he cheerily asked me, over my shoulder; but it
seemed to me there was a strained, nervous note in his voice. "A
bit of all right - eh, sir?"
"Well," I said, standing on tiptoe in an effort to see over the
top, "you've certainly behaved very generously toward me - I'll say
that much. Midships there appears to be about four or five yards
of material I do not actually need in my business, being, as it
happens, neither a harem favorite nor a professional sackracer.
And they come up so high I'm afraid people will think the gallant
coast-guards have got me in a lifebuoy and are bringing me ashore
through the surf."
"You'll be wanting them a bit loose, sir, you know," he interjected,
still snuggling close behind me. "All our gentlemen like them
loose."
"Oh, very well," I said; "perhaps these things are mere details.
However, I would be under deep obligations to you if you'd change
'em from barkentine to schooner rig, and lower away this gaff-topsail
which now sticks up under my chin, so that I can luff and come up
in the wind without capsizing. And say, what is that hard lump
between my shoulders?"
"Nothing at all, sir," he said hastily; and now I knew he was
flurried. "I can fix that, sir - in a jiffy, sir."
"Anyhow, please come round here in front where I can converse more
freely with you on the subject," I said. I was becoming suspicious
that all was not well with me back there where he was lingering.
He came reluctantly, still half-embracing me with one arm.
Petulantly I wrestled my form free, and instantly those breeches
seemed to leap outward in all directions away from me. I grabbed
for them, and barely in time I got a grip on the yawning top hem.
Peering down the cavelike orifice that now confronted me I beheld
two spectral white columns, and recognized them as my own legs.
In the same instant, also, I realized what that hard clump against
my spine was, because when he took his hand away the clump was
gone.
