Feel sure that throughout the interior the disclosure will come
as a pleasant surprise.
The directions for executing this coup are simple and all the
deadlier because they are so simple. The main thing is to invite
your chief opponent as a smart entertainer; you know the one I
mean - the woman who scored such a distinct social triumph in the
season of 1912-13 by being the first woman in town to serve tomato
bisque with whipped cream on it. Have her there by all means.
Go ahead with your dinner as though naught sensational and
revolutionary were about to happen. Give them in proper turn the
oysters, the fish, the entree, the bird, the salad. And then, all
by itself, alone and unafraid, bring on a dab of string-beans.
Wait until you see the whites of their eyes, and aim and fire at
will. Settle back then, until the first hushed shock has somewhat
abated - until your dazed and suffering rival is glaring about in
a well-bred but flustered manner, looking for something to go with
the beans. Hold her eye while you smile a smile that is compounded
of equal parts - superior wisdom, and gentle contempt for her
ignorance - and then slowly, deliberately, dip a fork into the beans
on your plate and go to it.
Believe me, it cannot lose. Before breakfast time the next morning
every woman who was at that dinner will either be sending out
invitations for a dinner of her own and ordering beans, or she
will be calling up her nearest and best friend on the telephone
to spread the tidings. I figure that the intense social excitement
occasioned in this country a few years ago by the introduction of
Russian salad dressing will be as nothing in comparison.
This stunt of serving the vegetable as a separate course was one
of the things I learned about food during our flittings across
Europe, but it was not the only thing I learned - by a long shot
it was not. For example I learned this - and I do not care what
anybody else may say to the contrary either - that here in America
we have better food and more different kinds of food, and food
better cooked and better served than the effete monarchies of the
Old World ever dreamed of. And, quality and variety considered,
it costs less here, bite for bite, than it costs there.
Food in Germany is cheaper than anywhere else almost, I reckon;
and, selected with care and discrimination, a German dinner is an
excellently good dinner. Certain dishes in England - and they are
very certain, for you get them at every meal - are good, too, and
not overly expensive. There are some distinctive Austrian dishes
that are not without their attractions either.
