Europe Revised By Irvin S. Cobb

 -   But if it be Tuesday, then
it is Dresden, and they give their attention to literature dealing
with the attractions - Page 320
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But If It Be Tuesday, Then It Is Dresden, And They Give Their Attention To Literature Dealing With The Attractions Of Dresden; Seeing Dresden After The Fashion Of One Sitting Before A Runaway Moving Picture Film.

Then they pack up and depart, galloping, for Prague with their tongues hanging out.

For Wednesday is Prague and Prague is Wednesday - the two words are synonymous and interchangeable. Surely to such as these, the places they have visited must mean as much to them, afterward, as the labels upon their trunks mean to the trunks - just flimsy names pasted on, all confused and overlapping, and certain to be scraped off in time, leaving nothing but faint marks upon an indurated surface.

There is yet again another type, always of the female gender and generally middle-aged and very schoolteacherish in aspect, who, in company with a group of kindred spirits, is viewing Europe under a contract arrangement by which a worn and wearied-looking gentleman, a retired clergyman usually, acts as escort and mentor for a given price. I don't know how much he gets a head for this job; but whatever it is, he earns it ninety-and-nine times over. This lady tourist is much given to missing trains and getting lost and having disputes with natives and wearing rubber overshoes and asking strange questions - but let me illustrate with a story I heard.

The man from Cook's had convoyed his party through the Vatican, until he brought them to the Apollo Belvidere.

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