Following This There Were High Words,
Meaning By That Low Ones, And Accusations And Recriminations, And
At Eventide When The
Sunset was a welter of purple and gold, there
was a sudden smashing of glassware in the smoking room and
A flurry
of arms and legs in a far corner, and a couple of pained stewards
scurrying about saying, "Ow, now, don't do that, sir, if you please,
sir, thank you, sir!" And one of the belligerents came forth from
the melee wearing a lavender eye with saffron trimmings, as though
to match the sunset, and the other with a set of skinned knuckles,
emblematic of the skinning operations previously undertaken. And
through all the ship ran the hissing tongues of scandal and gossip.
Out of wild rumor and cross-rumor, certain salient facts were
eventually precipitated like sediment from a clouded solution.
It seemed that the engaging Messrs. X, Y and Z had been induced,
practically under false pretenses to book passage, they having
read in the public prints that the prodigal and card-foolish son
of a cheese-paring millionaire father meant to take the ship too;
but he had grievously disappointed them by not coming aboard at
all. Then, when in an effort to make their traveling expenses
back, they uncorked their newest trick and device for inspiring
confidence in gudgeons, the particular gudgeon of their choosing
had refused to pay up. Naturally they were fretful and peevish
in the extreme. It spoiled the whole trip for them.
Except for this one small affair it was, on the whole, a pleasant
voyage. We had only one storm and one ship's concert, and at the
finish most of us were strong enough to have stood another storm.
And the trip had been worth a lot to us - at least it had been worth
a lot to me, for I had crossed the ocean on one of the biggest
hotels afloat. I had amassed quite a lot of nautical terms that
would come in very handy for stunning the folks at home when I got
back. I had had my first thrill at the sight of foreign shores.
And just by casual contact with members of the British aristocracy,
I had acquired such a heavy load of true British hauteur that in
parting on the landing dock I merely bowed distantly toward those
of my fellow Americans to whom I had not been introduced; and they,
having contracted the same disease, bowed back in the same haughty
and distant manner.
When some of us met again, however, in Vienna, the insulation had
been entirely rubbed off and we rushed madly into one another's
arms and exchanged names and addresses; and, babbling feverishly
the while, we told one another what our favorite flower was, and
our birthstone and our grandmother's maiden name, and what we
thought of a race of people who regarded a cup of ostensible coffee
and a dab of honey as constituting a man's-size breakfast. And,
being pretty tolerably homesick by that time, we leaned in toward
a common center and gave three loud, vehement cheers for the land
of the country sausage and the home of the buckwheat cake - and,
as giants refreshed, went on our ways rejoicing.
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