"Reverence," said I, "what do you mean by styling me reverence?"
"Och sure, because to be styled your reverence is the right of your
reverence."
"Pray what do you take me for?"
"Och sure, we knows your reverence very well."
"Well, who am I?"
"Och, why Father Toban to be sure."
"And who knows me to be Father Toban?"
"Och, a boy here knows your reverence to be Father Toban."
"Where is that boy?"
"Here he stands, your reverence."
"Are you that boy?"
"I am, your reverence."
"And you told the rest that I was Father Toban?"
"I did, your reverence."
"And you know me to be Father Toban?"
"I do, your reverence."
"How do you know me to be Father Toban?"
"Och, why because many's the good time that I have heard your
reverence, Father Toban, say mass."
"And what is it you want me to do?"
"Why, see here, your reverence, we are going to embark in the dirty
steamer yonder for ould Ireland, which starts as soon as the tide
serves, and we want your reverence to bless us before we goes."
"You want me to bless you?"
"We do, your reverence, we want you to spit out a little bit of a
blessing upon us before we goes on board."
"And what good would my blessing do you?"
"All kinds of good, your reverence; it would prevent the dirty
steamer from catching fire, your reverence, or from going down,
your reverence, or from running against the blackguard Hill of
Howth in the mist, provided there should be one."
"And suppose I were to tell you that I am not Father Toban?"
"Och, your reverence, will never think of doing that."
"Would you believe me if I did?"
"We would not, your reverence."
"If I were to swear that I am not Father Toban?"
"We would not, your reverence."
"On the evangiles?"
"We would not, your reverence."
"On the Cross?"
"We would not, your reverence."
"And suppose I were to refuse to give you a blessing?"
"Och, your reverence will never refuse to bless the poor boys."
"But suppose I were to refuse?"
"Why, in such a case, which by-the-bye is altogether impossible, we
should just make bould to give your reverence a good big bating."
"You would break my head?"
"We would, your reverence."
"Kill me?"
"We would, your reverence."
"You would really put me to death?"
"We would not, your reverence."
"And what's the difference between killing and putting to death?"
"Och, sure there's all the difference in the world. Killing manes
only a good big bating, such as every Irishman is used to, and
which your reverence would get over long before matins, whereas
putting your reverence to death would prevent your reverence from
saying mass for ever and a day."
"And you are determined on having a blessing?"
"We are, your reverence."
"By hook or by crook?"
"By crook or by hook, your reverence."
"Before I bless you, will you answer me a question or two?"
"I will, your reverence."
"Are you not a set of great big blackguards?"
"We are, your reverence."
"Without one good quality?"
"We are, your reverence."
"Would it not be quite right to saddle and bridle you all, and ride
you violently down Holyhead or the Giant's Causeway into the
waters, causing you to perish there, like the herd of swine of
old?"
"It would, your reverence."
"And knowing and confessing all this, you have the cheek to come
and ask me for a blessing?"
"We have, your reverence."
"Well, how shall I give the blessing?"
"Och, sure your reverence knows very well how to give it."
"Shall I give it in Irish?"
"Och, no, your reverence - a blessing in Irish is no blessing at
all."
"In English?"
"Och, murder, no, your reverence, God preserve us all from an
English blessing!"
"In Latin?"
"Yes, sure, your reverence; in what else should you bless us but in
holy Latin?"
"Well then prepare yourselves."
"We will, your reverence - stay one moment whilst I whisper to the
boys that your reverence is about to bestow your blessing upon us."
Then turning to the rest who all this time had kept their eyes
fixed intently upon us, he bellowed with the voice of a bull:
"Down on your marrow bones, ye sinners, for his reverence Toban is
about to bless us all in holy Latin."
He then flung himself on his knees on the pier, and all his
countrymen, baring their heads, followed his example - yes, there
knelt thirty bare-headed Eirionaich on the pier of Caer Gybi
beneath the broiling sun. I gave them the best Latin blessing I
could remember, out of two or three which I had got by memory out
of an old Popish book of devotion, which I bought in my boyhood at
a stall. Then turning to the deputy I said, "Well, now are you
satisfied?"
"Sure, I have a right to be satisfied, your reverence; and so have
we all - sure we can now all go on board the dirty steamer, without
fear of fire or water, or the blackguard Hill of Howth either."
"Then get up, and tell the rest to get up, and please to know and
let the rest know, that I do not choose to receive farther trouble,
either by word or look, from any of ye, as long as I remain here."
"Your reverence shall be obeyed in all things," said the fellow,
getting up. Then walking away to his companions he cried, "Get up,
boys, and plase to know that his reverence Toban is not to be
farther troubled by being looked at or spoken to by any one of us
as long as he remains upon this dirty pier."
"Divil a bit farther trouble shall he have from us!" exclaimed many
a voice, as the rest of the party arose from their knees.
