All India is but an item in the
ledger-books of the merchants, whose lumber-rooms are filled with
ancient thrones! - whirr! whirr! all by wheels! - whiz! whiz! all by
steam.
Dragoman. - The Pasha compliments the cutlery of England, and also
the East India Company.
Traveller. - The Pasha's right about the cutlery (I tried my
scimitar with the common officers' swords belonging to our fellows
at Malta, and they cut it like the leaf of a novel). Well (to the
dragoman), tell the Pasha I am exceedingly gratified to find that
he entertains such a high opinion of our manufacturing energy, but
I should like him to know, though, that we have got something in
England besides that. These foreigners are always fancying that we
have nothing but ships, and railways, and East India Companies; do
just tell the Pasha that our rural districts deserve his attention,
and that even within the last two hundred years there has been an
evident improvement in the culture of the turnip, and if he does
not take any interest about that, at all events you can explain
that we have our virtues in the country - that we are a truth-
telling people, and, like the Osmanlees, are faithful in the
performance of our promises. Oh! and, by-the-bye, whilst you are
about it, you may as well just say at the end that the British
yeoman is still, thank God! the British yeoman.
Pasha (after hearing the dragoman). - It is true, it is true: -
through all Feringhistan the English are foremost and best; for the
Russians are drilled swine, and the Germans are sleeping babes, and
the Italians are the servants of songs, and the French are the sons
of newspapers, and the Greeks they are weavers of lies, but the
English and the Osmanlees are brothers together in righteousness;
for the Osmanlees believe in one only God, and cleave to the Koran,
and destroy idols, so do the English worship one God, and abominate
graven images, and tell the truth, and believe in a book, and
though they drink the juice of the grape, yet to say that they
worship their prophet as God, or to say that they are eaters of
pork, these are lies - lies born of Greeks, and nursed by Jews!
Dragoman. - The Pasha compliments the English.
Traveller (rising). - Well, I've had enough of this. Tell the Pasha
I am greatly obliged to him for his hospitality, and still more for
his kindness in furnishing me with horses, and say that now I must
be off.
Pasha (after hearing the dragoman, and standing up on his divan).
{3} - Proud are the sires, and blessed are the dams of the horses
that shall carry his Excellency to the end of his prosperous
journey.
