There Was A Strong Antecedent
Likelihood In FAVOUR Of My Being Struck By The Same Blow As The
Rest Of The People Who Had Been Dying Around Me.
Besides, it
occurred to me that, after all, the universal opinion of the
Europeans upon a medical question, such
As that of contagion, might
probably be correct, and IF IT WERE, I was so thoroughly
"compromised," and especially by the touch and breath of the dying
medico, that I had no right to expect any other fate than that
which now seemed to have overtaken me. Balancing as well as I
could all the considerations which hope and fear suggested, I
slowly and reluctantly came to the conclusion that, according to
all merely reasonable probability, the plague had come upon me.
You would suppose that this conviction would have induced me to
write a few farewell lines to those who were dearest, and that
having done that, I should have turned my thoughts towards the
world to come. Such, however, was not the case. I believe that
the prospect of death often brings with it strong anxieties about
matters of comparatively trivial import, and certainly with me the
whole energy of the mind was directed towards the one petty object
of concealing my illness until the latest possible moment - until
the delirious stage. I did not believe that either Mysseri or
Dthemetri, who had served me so faithfully in all trials, would
have deserted me (as most Europeans are wont to do) when they knew
that I was stricken by plague, but I shrank from the idea of
putting them to this test, and I dreaded the consternation which
the knowledge of my illness would be sure to occasion.
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