The swellings in Adam's limbs having
subsided he was free from pain and arose this morning in much better
Spirits, and spoke of cleaning his gun ready for shooting partridges or
any animals that might appear near the house, but his tone entirely
changed before the day was half over; he became again dejected and could
scarcely be prevailed upon to eat. The Doctor and Hepburn were almost
exhausted. The cutting of one log of wood occupied the latter half an
hour, and the other took as much time to drag it into the house, though
the distance did not exceed thirty yards. I endeavoured to help the
Doctor but my assistance was very trifling. Yet it was evident that in a
day or two if their strength should continue to decline at the same rate
I should be the strongest of the party.
I may here remark that owing to our loss of flesh the hardness of the
floor from which we were only protected by a blanket produced soreness
over the body, and especially those parts on which the weight rested in
lying, yet to turn ourselves for relief was a matter of toil and
difficulty. However during this period and indeed all along after the
acute pains of hunger, which lasted but three or four days, had subsided,
we generally enjoyed the comfort of a few hours' sleep. The dreams which
for the most part but not always accompanied it were usually (though not
invariably) of a pleasant character, being very often about the
enjoyments of feasting. In the daytime we fell into the practice of
conversing on common and light subjects, although we sometimes discussed
with seriousness and earnestness topics connected with religion. We
generally avoided speaking directly of our present sufferings or even of
the prospect of relief. I observed that in proportion as our strength
decayed our minds exhibited symptoms of weakness, evinced by a kind of
unreasonable pettishness with each other. Each of us thought the other
weaker in intellect than himself, and more in need of advice and
assistance. So trifling a circumstance as a change of place, recommended
by one as being warmer and more comfortable and refused by the other from
a dread of motion, frequently called forth fretful expressions which were
no sooner uttered than atoned for, to be repeated perhaps in the course
of a few minutes. The same thing often occurred when we endeavoured to
assist each other in carrying wood to the fire; none of us were willing
to receive assistance although the task was disproportioned to our
strength. On one of these occasions Hepburn was so convinced of this
waywardness that he exclaimed, "Dear me, if we are spared to return to
England, I wonder if we shall recover our understandings."
November 7.
Adam had passed a restless night, being disquieted by gloomy
apprehensions of approaching death, which we tried in vain to dispel. He
was so low in the morning as to be scarcely able to speak.
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