It was
twilight and a fog was rapidly darkening the surface of the lake when St.
Germain commenced making the encampment; the task was too laborious for
me to render him any assistance and, had we not thus providentially found
provision, I feel convinced that the next twenty-four hours would have
terminated my existence. But this good fortune in some measure renovated
me for the moment and, putting out my whole strength, I contrived to
collect a few heads and with incredible difficulty carried them singly
about thirty paces to the fire.
Darkness stole on us apace and I became extremely anxious about
Beauparlant; several guns were fired to each of which he answered. We
then called out and again heard his responses though faintly, when I told
St. Germain to go and look for him as I had not strength myself, being
quite exhausted. He said that he had already placed a pine branch on the
ice and he could then scarcely find his way back, but if he went now he
should certainly be lost. In this situation I could only hope that, as
Beauparlant had my blanket and everything requisite to light a fire, he
might have encamped at a little distance from us.
October 17.
The night was cold and clear but we could not sleep at all from the pains
of having eaten. We suffered the most excruciating torments though I in
particular did not eat a quarter of what would have satisfied me; it
might have been from using a quantity of raw or frozen sinews of the legs
of deer, which neither of us could avoid doing, so great was our hunger.
In the morning, being much agitated for the safety of Beauparlant, I
desired St. Germain to go in search of him and to return with him as
quick as possible, when I would have something prepared for them to eat.
It was however late when he arrived, with a small bundle which
Beauparlant was accustomed to carry and, with tears in his eyes, told me
that he had found our poor companion dead. Dead! I could not believe him.
"It is so sir," said St. Germain, "after hallooing and calling his name
to no purpose I went towards our last encampment about three-quarters of
a mile and found him stretched upon his back on a sandbank frozen to
death, his limbs all extended and swelled enormously and as hard as the
ice that was near him; his bundle was behind him as if it had rolled away
when he fell, and the blanket which he wore around his neck and shoulders
thrown on one side. Seeing that there was no longer life in him I threw
your covering over him and placed his snowshoes on the top of it."
I had not even thought of so serious an occurrence in our little party
and for a short time was obliged to give vent to my grief. Left with one
person and both of us weak, no appearance of Belanger, a likelihood that
great calamity had taken place amongst our other companions, still
upwards of seventeen days' march from the nearest establishment, and
myself unable to carry a burden; all these things pressed heavy on me,
and how to get to the Indians or to the fort I did not know but, that I
might not depress St. Germain's spirits, I suppressed the feelings to
which these thoughts gave rise and made some arrangements for the journey
to Fort Providence.
October 18.
While we were this day occupied in scraping together the remains of some
deer's meat we observed Belanger coming round a point apparently scarcely
moving. I went to meet him and made immediate inquiries about my friends.
Five, with the Captain, he said, were at the house, the rest were left
near the river unable to proceed, but he was too weak to relate the
whole. He was conducted to the encampment and paid every attention to,
and by degrees we heard the remainder of his tragic tale, at which the
interpreter could not avoid crying. He then gave me a letter from my
friend the Commander which indeed was truly afflicting. The simple story
of Belanger I could hear, but when I read it in another language, mingled
with the pious resignation of a good man, I could not sustain it any
longer. The poor man was much affected at the death of our lamented
companion but his appetite prevailed over every other feeling and, had I
permitted it, he would have done himself an injury; for after two hours'
eating, principally skin and sinews, he complained of hunger. The day was
cloudy with snow and fresh breezes from the north-east by east.
The last evening as well as this morning the 19th I mentioned my wishes
to the men that we should proceed towards Reindeer Lake, but this
proposal met with a direct refusal. Belanger stated his inability to move
and St. Germain used similar language, adding for the first time that he
did not know the route, and that it was of no use to go in the direction
I mentioned, which was the one agreed upon between the Commander and
myself. I then insisted that we should go by the known route and join the
Commander, but they would not hear of it; they would remain where they
were until they had regained their strength; they said I wanted to expose
them again to death (faire perir). In vain did I use every argument to
the contrary for they were equally heedless to all. Thus situated I was
compelled to remain, and from this time to the 25th we employed ourselves
in looking about for the remnants of the deer and pieces of skin which
even the wolves had left and, by pounding the bones, we were enabled to
make a sort of soup which strengthened us greatly, though each still
complained of weakness.
