Poor Samandre was willing to have taken his share in the
labours of the party had he not been wholly incapacitated by his weakness
and low spirits. The severe shock occasioned by the sudden dissolution of
our two companions rendered us very melancholy. Adam became low and
despondent, a change which we lamented the more as we had perceived he
had been gaining strength and spirits for the two preceding days. I was
particularly distressed by the thought that the labour of collecting wood
must now devolve upon Dr. Richardson and Hepburn, and that my debility
would disable me from affording them any material assistance; indeed both
of them most kindly urged me not to make the attempt. They were occupied
the whole of the next day in tearing down the logs of which the
storehouse was built but the mud plastered between them was so hard
frozen that the labour of separation exceeded their strength, and they
were completely exhausted by bringing in wood sufficient for less than
twelve hours' consumption.
I found it necessary in their absence to remain constantly near Adam and
to converse with him in order to prevent his reflecting on our condition,
and to keep up his spirits as far as possible. I also lay by his side at
night.
On the 3rd the weather was very cold though the atmosphere was cloudy.
This morning Hepburn was affected with swelling in his limbs, his
strength as well as that of the Doctor was rapidly declining; they
continued however to be full of hope. Their utmost exertions could only
supply wood to renew the fire thrice and on making it up the last time we
went to bed. Adam was in rather better spirits but he could not bear to
be left alone. Our stock of bones was exhausted by a small quantity of
soup we made this evening. The toil of separating the hair from the
skins, which in fact were our chief support, had now become so wearisome
as to prevent us from eating as much as we should otherwise have done.
November 4.
Calm and comparatively mild weather. The Doctor and Hepburn, exclusive of
their usual occupation, gathered some tripe de roche. I went a few yards
from the house in search of bones and returned quite fatigued, having
found but three. The Doctor again made incisions in Adam's leg which
discharged a considerable quantity of water and gave him great relief. We
read prayers and a portion of the New Testament in the morning and
evening, as had been our practice since Dr. Richardson's arrival, and I
may remark that the performance of these duties always afforded us the
greatest consolation, serving to reanimate our hope in the mercy of the
Omnipotent, who alone could save and deliver us.
On the 5th the breezes were light with dark cloudy weather and some snow.
The Doctor and Hepburn were getting much weaker and the limbs of the
latter were now greatly swelled. They came into the house frequently in
the course of the day to rest themselves and when once seated were unable
to rise without the help of one another, or of a stick. Adam was for the
most part in the same low state as yesterday, but sometimes he surprised
us by getting up and walking with an appearance of increased strength.
His looks were now wild and ghastly and his conversation was often
incoherent.
The next day was fine but very cold. The swellings in Adam's limbs having
subsided he was free from pain and arose this morning in much better
spirits, and spoke of cleaning his gun ready for shooting partridges or
any animals that might appear near the house, but his tone entirely
changed before the day was half over; he became again dejected and could
scarcely be prevailed upon to eat. The Doctor and Hepburn were almost
exhausted. The cutting of one log of wood occupied the latter half an
hour, and the other took as much time to drag it into the house, though
the distance did not exceed thirty yards. I endeavoured to help the
Doctor but my assistance was very trifling. Yet it was evident that in a
day or two if their strength should continue to decline at the same rate
I should be the strongest of the party.
I may here remark that owing to our loss of flesh the hardness of the
floor from which we were only protected by a blanket produced soreness
over the body, and especially those parts on which the weight rested in
lying, yet to turn ourselves for relief was a matter of toil and
difficulty. However during this period and indeed all along after the
acute pains of hunger, which lasted but three or four days, had subsided,
we generally enjoyed the comfort of a few hours' sleep. The dreams which
for the most part but not always accompanied it were usually (though not
invariably) of a pleasant character, being very often about the
enjoyments of feasting. In the daytime we fell into the practice of
conversing on common and light subjects, although we sometimes discussed
with seriousness and earnestness topics connected with religion. We
generally avoided speaking directly of our present sufferings or even of
the prospect of relief. I observed that in proportion as our strength
decayed our minds exhibited symptoms of weakness, evinced by a kind of
unreasonable pettishness with each other. Each of us thought the other
weaker in intellect than himself, and more in need of advice and
assistance. So trifling a circumstance as a change of place, recommended
by one as being warmer and more comfortable and refused by the other from
a dread of motion, frequently called forth fretful expressions which were
no sooner uttered than atoned for, to be repeated perhaps in the course
of a few minutes.
