They Belong To The Aristocracy Of The Land, By Whatever
Means They May Have Become Aristocrats.
In America one does not
inquire as to their birth, their training, or their old names.
The
fact of their aristocratic power comes out in every word and look.
It is not only so with those who have traveled or with those who
are rich. I have found female aristocrats with families and
slender means, who have as yet made no grand tour across the ocean.
These women are charming beyond expression. It is not only their
beauty. Had he been speaking of such, Wendell Phillips would have
been right in saying that they have brains all over them. So much
for those who are bright and beautiful, who are graceful and sweet!
And now a word as to those who to me are neither bright nor
beautiful, and who can be to none either graceful or sweet.
It is a hard task, that of speaking ill of any woman; but it seems
to me that he who takes upon himself to praise incurs the duty of
dispraising also where dispraise is, or to him seems to be,
deserved. The trade of a novelist is very much that of describing
the softness, sweetness, and loving dispositions of women; and this
he does, copying as best he can from nature. But if he only sings
of that which is sweet, whereas that which is not sweet too
frequently presents itself, his song will in the end be untrue and
ridiculous. Women are entitled to much observance from men, but
they are entitled to no observance which is incompatible with
truth. Women, by the conventional laws of society, are allowed to
exact much from men, but they are allowed to exact nothing for
which they should not make some adequate return. It is well that a
man should kneel in spirit before the grace and weakness of a
woman, but it is not well that he should kneel either in spirit or
body if there be neither grace nor weakness. A man should yield
everything to a woman for a word, for a smile - to one look of
entreaty. But if there be no look of entreaty, no word, no smile,
I do not see that he is called upon to yield much.
The happy privileges with which women are at present blessed have
come to them from the spirit of chivalry. That spirit has taught
man to endure in order that women may be at their ease; and has
generally taught women to accept the ease bestowed on them with
grace and thankfulness. But in America the spirit of chivalry has
sunk deeper among men than it has among women. It must be borne in
mind that in that country material well-being and education are
more extended than with us; and that, therefore, men there have
learned to be chivalrous who with us have hardly progressed so far.
The conduct of men to women throughout the States is always
gracious.
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