I Have Never Known One Who Could Bear
Criticism, Who Could Not Be Flattered, Who Would Not Bribe His
Judge, Or Was Content That The Truth Should Be Loved Always
Better Than Himself.
If two travellers would go their way harmoniously together, the
one must take as true and just a view of things as the other,
else their path will not be strewn with roses.
Yet you can
travel profitably and pleasantly even with a blind man, if he
practises common courtesy, and when you converse about the
scenery will remember that he is blind but that you can see; and
you will not forget that his sense of hearing is probably
quickened by his want of sight. Otherwise you will not long keep
company. A blind man, and a man in whose eyes there was no
defect, were walking together, when they came to the edge of a
precipice. "Take care! my friend," said the latter, "here is a
steep precipice; go no farther this way." - "I know better," said
the other, and stepped off.
It is impossible to say all that we think, even to our truest
Friend. We may bid him farewell forever sooner than complain,
for our complaint is too well grounded to be uttered. There is
not so good an understanding between any two, but the exposure by
the one of a serious fault in the other will produce a
misunderstanding in proportion to its heinousness. The
constitutional differences which always exist, and are obstacles
to a perfect Friendship, are forever a forbidden theme to the
lips of Friends. They advise by their whole behavior. Nothing
can reconcile them but love. They are fatally late when they
undertake to explain and treat with one another like foes. Who
will take an apology for a Friend? They must apologize like dew
and frost, which are off again with the sun, and which all men
know in their hearts to be beneficent. The necessity itself for
explanation, - what explanation will atone for that?
True love does not quarrel for slight reasons, such mistakes as
mutual acquaintances can explain away, but, alas, however slight
the apparent cause, only for adequate and fatal and everlasting
reasons, which can never be set aside. Its quarrel, if there is
any, is ever recurring, notwithstanding the beams of affection
which invariably come to gild its tears; as the rainbow, however
beautiful and unerring a sign, does not promise fair weather
forever, but only for a season. I have known two or three
persons pretty well, and yet I have never known advice to be of
use but in trivial and transient matters. One may know what
another does not, but the utmost kindness cannot impart what is
requisite to make the advice useful. We must accept or refuse
one another as we are. I could tame a hyena more easily than my
Friend. He is a material which no tool of mine will work. A
naked savage will fell an oak with a firebrand, and wear a
hatchet out of a rock by friction, but I cannot hew the smallest
chip out of the character of my Friend, either to beautify or
deform it.
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