They Ask For Words And Deeds, When A True
Relation Is Word And Deed.
If they know not of these things, how
can they be informed?
We often forbear to confess our feelings,
not from pride, but for fear that we could not continue to love
the one who required us to give such proof of our affection.
I know a woman who possesses a restless and intelligent mind,
interested in her own culture, and earnest to enjoy the highest
possible advantages, and I meet her with pleasure as a natural
person who not a little provokes me, and I suppose is stimulated
in turn by myself. Yet our acquaintance plainly does not attain
to that degree of confidence and sentiment which women, which
all, in fact, covet. I am glad to help her, as I am helped by
her; I like very well to know her with a sort of stranger's
privilege, and hesitate to visit her often, like her other
Friends. My nature pauses here, I do not well know why. Perhaps
she does not make the highest demand on me, a religious demand.
Some, with whose prejudices or peculiar bias I have no sympathy,
yet inspire me with confidence, and I trust that they confide in
me also as a religious heathen at least, - a good Greek. I, too,
have principles as well founded as their own. If this person
could conceive that, without wilfulness, I associate with her as
far as our destinies are coincident, as far as our Good Geniuses
permit, and still value such intercourse, it would be a grateful
assurance to me. I feel as if I appeared careless, indifferent,
and without principle to her, not expecting more, and yet not
content with less. If she could know that I make an infinite
demand on myself, as well as on all others, she would see that
this true though incomplete intercourse, is infinitely better
than a more unreserved but falsely grounded one, without the
principle of growth in it. For a companion, I require one who
will make an equal demand on me with my own genius. Such a one
will always be rightly tolerant. It is suicide, and corrupts
good manners to welcome any less than this. I value and trust
those who love and praise my aspiration rather than my
performance. If you would not stop to look at me, but look
whither I am looking, and farther, then my education could not
dispense with your company.
My love must be as free
As is the eagle's wing,
Hovering o'er land and sea
And everything.
I must not dim my eye
In thy saloon,
I must not leave my sky
And nightly moon.
Be not the fowler's net
Which stays my flight,
And craftily is set
T'allure the sight.
But be the favoring gale
That bears me on,
And still doth fill my sail
When thou art gone.
I cannot leave my sky
For thy caprice,
True love would soar as high
As heaven is.
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