Friendship Is Never Established As An Understood Relation.
Do
you demand that I be less your Friend that you may know it?
Yet
what right have I to think that another cherishes so rare a
sentiment for me? It is a miracle which requires constant
proofs. It is an exercise of the purest imagination and the
rarest faith. It says by a silent but eloquent behavior, - "I
will be so related to thee as thou canst imagine; even so thou
mayest believe. I will spend truth, - all my wealth on
thee," - and the Friend responds silently through his nature and
life, and treats his Friend with the same divine courtesy. He
knows us literally through thick and thin. He never asks for a
sign of love, but can distinguish it by the features which it
naturally wears. We never need to stand upon ceremony with him
with regard to his visits. Wait not till I invite thee, but
observe that I am glad to see thee when thou comest. It would be
paying too dear for thy visit to ask for it. Where my Friend
lives there are all riches and every attraction, and no slight
obstacle can keep me from him. Let me never have to tell thee
what I have not to tell. Let our intercourse be wholly above
ourselves, and draw us up to it.
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings. It is an
intelligence above language. One imagines endless conversations
with his Friend, in which the tongue shall be loosed, and
thoughts be spoken without hesitancy or end; but the experience
is commonly far otherwise. Acquaintances may come and go, and
have a word ready for every occasion; but what puny word shall he
utter whose very breath is thought and meaning? Suppose you go
to bid farewell to your Friend who is setting out on a journey;
what other outward sign do you know than to shake his hand? Have
you any palaver ready for him then? any box of salve to commit to
his pocket? any particular message to send by him? any
statement which you had forgotten to make? - as if you could
forget anything. - No, it is much that you take his hand and say
Farewell; that you could easily omit; so far custom has
prevailed. It is even painful, if he is to go, that he should
linger so long. If he must go, let him go quickly. Have you any
_last_ words? Alas, it is only the word of words, which you have
so long sought and found not; _you_ have not a _first_ word yet.
There are few even whom I should venture to call earnestly by
their most proper names. A name pronounced is the recognition of
the individual to whom it belongs. He who can pronounce my name
aright, he can call me, and is entitled to my love and service.
Yet reserve is the freedom and abandonment of lovers. It is the
reserve of what is hostile or indifferent in their natures, to
give place to what is kindred and harmonious.
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