My Wife (And I
Never Do Anything Without Consulting Her) Laughs, And Tells Me That
You Cannot Be In Earnest.
What!
Says she, James, wouldst thee
pretend to send epistles to a great European man, who hath lived
abundance of time in that big house called Cambridge; where, they
say, that worldly learning is so abundant, that people gets it only
by breathing the air of the place? Wouldst not thee be ashamed to
write unto a man who has never in his life done a single day's work,
no, not even felled a tree; who hath expended the Lord knows how
many years in studying stars, geometry, stones, and flies, and in
reading folio books? Who hath travelled, as he told us, to the city
of Rome itself! Only think of a London man going to Rome! Where is
it that these English folks won't go? One who hath seen the factory
of brimstone at Suvius, and town of Pompey under ground! wouldst
thou pretend to letter it with a person who hath been to Paris, to
the Alps, to Petersburg, and who hath seen so many fine things up
and down the old countries; who hath come over the great sea unto
us, and hath journeyed from our New Hampshire in the East to our
Charles Town in the South; who hath visited all our great cities,
knows most of our famous lawyers and cunning folks; who hath
conversed with very many king's men, governors, and counsellors, and
yet pitches upon thee for his correspondent, as thee calls it?
surely he means to jeer thee! I am sure he does, he cannot be in a
real fair earnest. James, thee must read this letter over again,
paragraph by paragraph, and warily observe whether thee can'st
perceive some words of jesting; something that hath more than one
meaning: and now I think on it, husband, I wish thee wouldst let me
see his letter; though I am but a woman, as thee mayest say, yet I
understand the purport of words in good measure, for when I was a
girl, father sent us to the very best master in the precinct. - She
then read it herself very attentively: our minister was present, we
listened to, and weighed every syllable: we all unanimously
concluded that you must have been in a sober earnest intention, as
my wife calls it; and your request appeared to be candid and
sincere. Then again, on recollecting the difference between your
sphere of life and mine, a new fit of astonishment seized us all!
Our minister took the letter from my wife, and read it to himself;
he made us observe the two last phrases, and we weighed the contents
to the best of our abilities. The conclusion we all drew made me
resolve at last to write. - You say you want nothing of me but what
lies within the reach of my experience and knowledge; this I
understand very well; the difficulty is, how to collect, digest, and
arrange what I know?
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