They Most Certainly Are Much More Closely Connected
With Nature Than We Are; They Are Her Immediate Children, The
Inhabitants Of The Woods Are Her Undefiled Off-Spring:
Those of the
plains are her degenerated breed, far, very far removed from her
primitive laws, from her original design.
It is therefore resolved
on. I will either die in the attempt or succeed; better perish all
together in one fatal hour, than to suffer what we daily endure. I
do not expect to enjoy in the village of - - - an uninterrupted
happiness; it cannot be our lot, let us live where we will; I am not
founding my future prosperity on golden dreams. Place mankind where
you will, they must always have adverse circumstances to struggle
with; from nature, accidents, constitution; from seasons, from that
great combination of mischances which perpetually lead us to new
diseases, to poverty, etc. Who knows but I may meet in this new
situation, some accident from whence may spring up new sources of
unexpected prosperity? Who can be presumptuous enough to predict all
the good? Who can foresee all the evils, which strew the paths of
our lives? But after all, I cannot but recollect what sacrifice I am
going to make, what amputation I am going to suffer, what transition
I am going to experience. Pardon my repetitions, my wild, my
trifling reflections, they proceed from the agitations of my mind,
and the fulness of my heart; the action of thus retracing them seems
to lighten the burden, and to exhilarate my spirits; this is besides
the last letter you will receive from me; I would fain tell you all,
though I hardly know how. Oh! in the hours, in the moments of my
greatest anguish, could I intuitively represent to you that variety
of thought which crowds on my mind, you would have reason to be
surprised, and to doubt of their possibility. Shall we ever meet
again? If we should, where will it be? On the wild shores of - - . If
it be my doom to end my days there, I will greatly improve them; and
perhaps make room for a few more families, who will choose to retire
from the fury of a storm, the agitated billows of which will yet
roar for many years on our extended shores. Perhaps I may repossess
my house, if it be not burnt down; but how will my improvements
look? why, half defaced, bearing the strong marks of abandonment,
and of the ravages of war. However, at present I give everything
over for lost; I will bid a long farewell to what I leave behind. If
ever I repossess it, I shall receive it as a gift, as a reward for
my conduct and fortitude. Do not imagine, however, that I am a
stoic - by no means: I must, on the contrary, confess to you, that I
feel the keenest regret, at abandoning an house which I have in some
measure reared with my own hands.
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