Next Morning I Found My Host In The Orchard Destroying
Caterpillars.
I think, friend B., said I, that thee art greatly
departed from the good rules of the society; thee seemeth to have
quitted that happy simplicity for which it hath hitherto been so
remarkable.
Thy rebuke, friend James, is a pretty heavy one; what
motive canst thee have for thus accusing us? Thy kind wife made a
mistake last evening, I said; she put me on a bed of roses, instead
of a common one; I am not used to such delicacies. And is that all,
friend James, that thee hast to reproach us with? - Thee wilt not
call it luxury I hope? thee canst but know that it is the produce of
our garden; and friend Pope sayeth, that "to enjoy is to obey." This
is a most learned excuse indeed, friend B., and must be valued
because it is founded upon truth. James, my wife hath done nothing
more to thy bed than what is done all the year round to all the beds
in the family; she sprinkles her linen with rose-water before she
puts it under the press; it is her fancy, and I have nought to say.
But thee shalt not escape so, verily I will send for her; thee and
she must settle the matter, whilst I proceed on my work, before the
sun gets too high. - Tom, go thou and call thy mistress Philadelphia.
What. said I, is thy wife called by that name?
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