Faugh! You are such a nasty fellow that I
don't think Hector would eat your tongue."
"I'll kill that beast," muttered Malcolm, as he walked away.
I remonstrated with him on the impropriety of bandying words with
our servants. "You see," I said, "the disrespect with which they
treat you; and if they presume upon your familiarity, to speak to
our guest in this contemptuous manner, they will soon extend the
same conduct to us."
"But, Mrs. Moodie, you should reprove them."
"I cannot, sir, while you continue, by taking liberties with the
girl, and swearing at the man, to provoke them to retaliation."
"Swearing! What harm is there in swearing? A sailor cannot live
without oaths."
"But a gentleman might, Mr. Malcolm. I should be sorry to consider
you in any other light."
"Ah, you are such a prude - so methodistical - you make no allowance
for circumstances! Surely, in the woods we may dispense with the
hypocritical, conventional forms of society, and speak and act as
we please."
"So you seem to think; but you see the result."
"I have never been used to the society of ladies, and I cannot
fashion my words to please them; and I won't, that's more!" he
muttered to himself as he strode off to Moodie in the field. I
wished from my very heart that he was once more on the deck of
his piratical South American craft.
One night he insisted on going out in the canoe to spear maskinonge
with Moodie. The evening turned out very chill and foggy, and,
before twelve, they returned, with only one fish, and half frozen
with cold. Malcolm had got twinges of rheumatism, and he fussed, and
sulked, and swore, and quarrelled with everybody and everything,
until Moodie, who was highly amused by his petulance, advised him
to go to his bed, and pray for the happy restoration of his temper.
"Temper!" he cried, "I don't believe there's a good-tempered person
in the world. It's all hypocrisy! I never had a good-temper! My
mother was an ill-tempered woman, and ruled my father, who was a
confoundedly severe, domineering man. I was born in an ill-temper.
I was an ill-tempered child; I grew up an ill-tempered man. I feel
worse than ill-tempered now, and when I die it will be in an
ill-temper."
"Well," quoth I, "Moodie has made you a tumbler of hot punch, which
may help to drive out the cold and the ill-temper, and cure the
rheumatism."
"Ay; your husband's a good fellow, and worth two of you, Mrs.
Moodie. He makes some allowance for the weakness of human nature,
and can excuse even my ill-temper."
I did not choose to bandy words with him, and the next day the
unfortunate creature was shaking with the ague.
