Yet When The Vessel
Was Made Fast To The Wharf And The Crew Dismissed, He Seemed Suddenly
To Lose All Feeling About The Matter.
He told me that he went below
and changed his dress; took some water from the scuttle-butt and
Washed himself leisurely; overhauled his chest, and put his clothes
all in order; took his pipe from its place, filled it, and sitting
down upon his chest, smoked it slowly for the last time. Here he
looked round upon the forecastle in which he had spent so many
years, and being alone and his shipmates scattered, he began to
feel actually unhappy. Home became almost a dream; and it was not
until his brother (who had heard of the ship's arrival) came down
into the forecastle and told him of things at home, and who were
waiting there to see him, that he could realize where he was, and
feel interest enough to put him in motion toward that place for
which he had longed, and of which he had dreamed, for years.
There is probably so much of excitement in prolonged expectation,
that the quiet realizing of it produces a momentary stagnation of
feeling as well as of effort. It was a good deal so with me. The
activity of preparation, the rapid progress of the ship, the first
making land, the coming up the harbor, and old scenes breaking upon
the view, produced a mental as well as bodily activity, from which
the change to a perfect stillness, when both expectation and the
necessity of labor failed, left a calmness, almost of indifference,
from which I must be roused by some new excitement.
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