I Never Felt The Curse
Of Sickness So Keenly In My Life.
If I could only have been on deck
with the rest, where something was to be done, and seen,
And heard;
where there were fellow-beings for companions in duty and danger - but
to be cooped up alone in a black hole, in equal danger, but without the
power to do, was the hardest trial. Several times, in the course of
the night, I got up, determined to go on deck; but the silence which
showed that there was nothing doing, and the knowledge that I might
make myself seriously ill, for nothing, kept me back. It was not
easy to sleep, lying, as I did, with my head directly against the
bows, which might be dashed in by an island of ice, brought down
by the very next sea that struck her. This was the only time I
had been ill since I left Boston, and it was the worst time it
could have happened. I felt almost willing to bear the plagues
of Egypt for the rest of the voyage, if I could but be well and
strong for that one night. Yet it was a dreadful night for those
on deck.
A watch of eighteen hours, with wet, and cold, and constant anxiety,
nearly wore them out; and when they came below at nine o'clock for
breakfast, they almost dropped asleep on their chests, and some
of them were so stiff that they could with difficulty sit down.
Not a drop of anything had been given them during the whole time,
(though the captain, as on the night that I was on deck, had his
coffee every four hours,) except that the mate stole a potful of
coffee for two men to drink behind the galley, while he kept a
look-out for the captain. Every man had his station, and was not
allowed to leave it; and nothing happened to break the monotony
of the night, except once setting the main topsails to run clear
of a large island to leeward, which they were drifting fast upon.
Some of the boys got so sleepy and stupefied, that they actually
fell asleep at their posts; and the young third mate, whose station
was the exposed one of standing on the fore scuttle, was so stiff,
when he was relieved, that he could not bend his knees to get down.
By a constant look-out, and a quick shifting of the helm, as the
islands and pieces came in sight, the ship went clear of everything
but a few small pieces, though daylight showed the ocean covered for
miles. At daybreak it fell a dead calm, and with the sun, the fog
cleared a little, and a breeze sprung up from the westward, which soon
grew into a gale. We had now a fair wind, daylight, and comparatively
clear weather; yet, to the surprise of every one, the ship continued
hove-to. Why does not he run? What is the captain about? was asked
by every one; and from questions, it soon grew into complaints and
murmurings. When the daylight was so short, it was too bad to
lose it, and a fair wind, too, which every one had been praying
for. As hour followed hour, and the captain showed no sign of
making sail, the crew became impatient, and there was a good deal
of talking and consultation together, on the forecastle. They had
been beaten out with the exposure and hardship, and impatient to
get out of it, and this unaccountable delay was more than they
could bear in quietness, in their excited and restless state.
Some said that the captain was frightened, - completely cowed,
by the dangers and difficulties that surrounded us, and was afraid
to make sail; while others said that in his anxiety and suspense
he had made a free use of brandy and opium, and was unfit for
his duty. The carpenter, who was an intelligent man, and a
thorough seaman, and had great influence with the crew,
came down into the forecastle, and tried to induce the crew to
go aft and ask the captain why he did not run, or request him,
in the name of all hands, to make sail. This appeared to be a
very reasonable request, and the crew agreed that if he did not
make sail before noon, they would go aft. Noon came, and no sail
was made. A consultation was held again, and it was proposed to
take the ship from the captain and give the command of her to the
mate, who had been heard to say that, if he could have his way,
the ship would have been half the distance to the Cape before
night, - ice or no ice. And so irritated and impatient had the
crew become, that even this proposition, which was open mutiny,
punishable with state prison, was entertained, and the carpenter
went to his berth, leaving it tacitly understood that something
serious would be done, if things remained as they were many hours
longer. When the carpenter left, we talked it all over, and I gave
my advice strongly against it. Another of the men, too, who had
known something of the kind attempted in another ship by a crew
who were dissatisfied with their captain, and which was followed
with serious consequences, was opposed to it. S - - -, who soon
came down, joined us, and we determined to have nothing to do
with it. By these means, they were soon induced to give it up,
for the present, though they said they would not lie where they
were much longer without knowing the reason.
The affair remained in this state until four o'clock, when an
order came forward for all hands to come aft upon the quarter-
deck. In about ten minutes they came forward again, and the
whole affair had been blown. The carpenter, very prematurely,
and without any authority from the crew, had sounded the mate
as to whether he would take command of the ship, and intimated
an intention to displace the captain; and the mate, as in duty
bound, had told the whole to the captain, who immediately sent
for all hands aft.
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